In Which Conrad Black Calls Rupert Murdoch a Psychopath, or, the Skank Calls the Whore a Slut

Conrad comes slithering out of his hole to opine that this Rupert Murdoch chap is a bit of a douche:

When the extent of his skullduggery finally oozed out, sluggish and filthy, including the details of the British government’s dotage on him, this summer, Murdoch’s old possum routine didn’t play as convincingly as it had in its many previous auditions, when he purported to be contrite over the shortcomings of errant employees. Bumbling into a parliamentary hearing in London, supported on each arm like a centenarian semi-cadaver, mumbling about humility, trying to represent News Corporation’s board as independent when it is public corporate America’s most docile board of directors and is composed entirely of hacks, retainers, and ex-employees; scrambling and whimpering and paying millions to victims of his outrages; putting his name on a Journal op-ed piece about education; it’s all of a piece and none of it resonates anymore. In bygone days, he somehow carried off sprawling in a black costume on a bed in a glossy magazine and ruminating about being an “ambassador to Joe Six Pack,” a champion of the little guy, and a spiritual person contemplating the consolations of Catholicism. At its most imaginative, it was a passably imaginative imposture.

My admiration for his boldness and acumen and our previous 25 years of more than civil relations make it unpleasant, despite his unspeakable assault on me, to have to conclude that he is, in my personal belief, a psychopath.

YOU WOULD KNOW YOU DESPICABLE MOTHERFUCKER.

(BTW, I would yell about HuffPo giving a platform to one of the greatest assholes of our time, but the Sun-Times just gave Jenny McCarthy a column, and I think the argument that media needs more self-respect is over. Self-respect did not win, BTW.)

This piece is like a football game between Nazis and child molesters, where you’re primarily rooting for violent injuries. I think my favorite part is when ex-con Conrad basically admits that it was all fine and dandy for Rupert to rape and pillage so long as he did it with his pinky finger properly crooked:

As I have often written before, he is probably the greatest media-owner in history, and his achievements in becoming the tabloid leader in London, in cracking the egregious Luddite print unions there, in breaking the triopoly of American television networks, promoting vertical integration with television outlets and film production, and his pioneering breakthroughs in satellite television worldwide, are Napoleonic in boldness of concept and skill of execution. And no one has been more vocal or consistent than I in saluting them.

I competed with Murdoch, successful and quite cordially, in Britain for 15 years when we had the Telegraph newspapers, and for a time in Australia. Our relations and those of our wives were always quite convivial.

Sure, he broke unions and slashed prices and generally acted like all the world was fuel for his personal bonfire. Sure, the wars Murdoch and his allies championed are still sending boys and girls home in boxes, years after it became clear that those wars would never be won, because his influence was such that it is treason to speak of the drawbacks to blowing up the entirety of the Middle East.

Sure, he poured poison in all our wells, and sure, he dug his claws into all of our backs, and sure, we are meaner and smaller and poorer and sicker than we have ever been in no small part because of the work he did, but he’s from such a lovely family, and he’s so well-spoken, too.

But when he said mean things about me, when he made fun of me, when he pointed out that I was filthy, then I was offended. and then I was outraged, and then I was compelled to call him a monster. Because that was a bridge too far.

A.

2 thoughts on “In Which Conrad Black Calls Rupert Murdoch a Psychopath, or, the Skank Calls the Whore a Slut

  1. That being said, JENNY MCCARTHY HAS A NEWSPAPER COLUMN NOW!!!??? What, so she can kill more kids?
    Here’s hoping the Mayan calendar crowd are right.
    .

  2. Lex says:

    That vertical integration is the same thing the U.S. government spent no little amount of time and money to eliminate in the middle of the last century.

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