More Adventures In Social Media; or, Please Let Me Find Out That I’m Adopted


Apparently, this is George Clinton’s DNA; I don’t think you or I are funky enough to have major AND a minor groove in all of our cell nuclei.Via.

In my ongoing quest to get disinvited from all future family reunions, I’ve started responding to moronic things that relations post on line. If you know anything about my family, you’re probably thinking that I’ll need to take a sabbatical from work for a while if this hobby is going to continue.

Today’s idiocy comes from a first cousin, with a special guest appearance from my older brother (they are anonymized in red and yellow, respectively. Behold!



Logic is your friend. Well, my friend, anyway.

Not to defend the person in the original accusation–if indeed that is true, and I’m betting it’s not–but I just don’t get the goddamn mental disconnect here. Then again, there’s a lot about zealots that I don’t understand.

I fully expect to be de-friended by almost all family members by election day. I can only imagine that I will cry myself to sleep every night after that happens. Anyway, my current working theory is that I was switched with another baby in the hospital when I was an infant; there’s pretty much no other way to explain how I have so little in common with so much of my family.

One final note: Of all my relatives that I know are conservative, pro-war, pro-gun, and (so they assume) pro-military, precisely zero of them were in any branch of the armed forces. The two of us who are liberal (myself and my younger brother) both did hitches as enlisted folks. Make of that what you will.

12 thoughts on “More Adventures In Social Media; or, Please Let Me Find Out That I’m Adopted

  1. MichaelF says:

    Haven’t had the family blow-up argument — yet — but regularly get the crazy-emails-from-my-wingnut mother.
    For a while I used them as a reflex test — how fast can I hit the delete key? — but lately give them a quick read just to get an idea of what’s pressing their hate button this time…and it’s mostly stuff that any thinking person would dismiss as lunacy.
    Which is why I no longer even consider the dominant political division in the country as left versus right — that’s giving the wingers too much credit. It’s educated (more or less) versus dumb-as-a-sack-of-hammers ignorant.
    And I’m ok with idiots out there…well, until they start demanding I act as dumb as them…

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  2. Jay in Oregon says:

    My parents want me to come visit for Christmas, which should be safely far enough past the election that politics should be off the table (assuming we’re not fighting the Second Civil War by then).

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  3. MapleStreet says:

    OK. I’m confused by the story in question. A simple Google search for “Abortion Nurse Fondling” shows a prolife site posting this yesterday followed by a frenzy of other sites. Lifenews.com seems to be a johnny come lately in picking this up. But I don’t see anything from a traditional news media (national news to local paper).
    The Life News article includes a wonderful conspiracy quote: “…was that it apparently took a lawsuit for the clinic to fire Gradwohl, if they even did fire her. For all we know, she could have quit of her own volition”
    To run with a South Park Thanksgiving episode, I could just as well make statements like “There is no historical evidence to show that the Pope did not head the Knights Templar and Illuminati. Therefore the Illuminati and Knights Templar conclusively run the world today.” As a Catholic, I know that I have more than had my fill of such conspiracy claims.
    3 possible lines of investigation – workplace harasssment, criminal assault on anesthetized patients (local police), and State Licensing Board. As this is so recent, there isn’t any indication on the evidence for the behavior.
    Getting to the posts on the story, I always worry when someone is so holy that they claim not to have immoral thoughts. (For that matter remember the hailstorm when Carter admitted that he had lusted in his heart. From one side laughter at how obvious this was and the arcane way he put it. From the other side those who saw it as an admittance of how immoral he was.)

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  4. MapleStreet says:

    Correction, on Googling, I do get a string of hits on Willamette Week – appears to be a weekly paper on things to do in the area. The story keeps getting a hit on almost every page as it is a headling in the margin.

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  5. BlackSheep0ne says:

    Goes to show there’s eejits in all professions / positions / walks of life. Woman took the job in January, quit in May, filed suit in October. Hmmmm. Wonder if she was, being a pro-lifer, trying to “go undercover” in this hostile environment?
    Anyhow … the emails from idiots have taught me to build spam filters … so they did serve some use.

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  6. I lost a nephew on Facebook. His sister tried to get us refriended, but it didn’t work. He was not interested.

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  7. Jude says:

    MapleStreet, I initially followed the link from “LifeNews” to Willamette Week (i.e., before I responded to my cousin). Most likely what you’ve got is a disgruntled former employee filing a baseless lawsuit. If there were any “there” there, someone would have gotten the police involved. This is just a rightwing freakout over a non-story.

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  8. Athenae says:

    “Any statement about the Catholic Church is directed at me as a member.”
    Yes, including every single line in every single bishop’s deposition, particularly the ones where they ridicule victims and their families as liars. Those are statements directed at you as a member, too.
    God, that’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard. Yes, as Christians you are all part of the body of Christ, but in no way are you automatically a member of any particular church’s hierarchy such that you have to take offense when someone rightly accuses the institutional church of staggering hypocrisy in the pursuit of power.
    I were this guy, I’d be careful what I identify with.
    A.

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  9. Jude says:

    A, it’s even worse than that–the relative anonymized in red is a woman.
    Yes, you may continue screaming at this point.

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  10. mothra says:

    All’s I can say is that this just reinforces my resolve not to get on Facebook. WTF is up with automatic emoticons? Jesus.

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  11. MapleStreet says:

    Jude, quite agreed, if not even the need to consider a ‘plant’ as a possibility.
    I think I saw in the Wilamette the Board basically giving a polite no comment; the Board in most states cannot divulge whether they are investigating anything or not. The accusation would definitely merit the Board interviewing others at the facility. (I’m using Board loosely as this would include the Nursing for the accused employee, the Medical and also facilities licensing Boards for any collusion,…)
    Privacy is real ticklish here. I’m sure the facility wants to clear its name but its records are under Healthcare Privacy laws (and if the facility terminated the Nurse without cause, a wrongful termination suits). Seeing the allegation, anyone who has used the facility surely has questions and should demand investigation, but there are significant social reasons that they wouldn’t want to come forward.

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  12. Addendum: Some staunch Republican female family members of a younger generation seem fed up with Republican attempts to control their bodies and are even checking “Like” on some of my political posts. Mirabile dictu!

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