Dear Governor Cuomo:

May I call you Andrew? Let me start with a few compliments. I think you’re
doing a good job so far as Governor of the Empire State and I’m a *great
admirer* of your father, Mario. Yeah, he left me at the altar in 1988 and 1992
but the man is too awesome to hold a grudge against. Of course, you know that,
and are probably tired of hearing about your dad when you have your own
national ambitions.

Okey doke, that was the sweet part of this open letter, here’s the bitter.
What on earth were you thinking when you appointed former Katrina Kaiser Ed
Blakely to your Hurricane Sandy commission? It looks like your staff fell down a
12-story walkup on this one. I am a New Orleanian and Dr. Blakely was about as
popular and competent as the man who appointed him, C Ray Nagin.

When Kaiser Ed (I always called him that, Tsars are for schmucks) first came
to NOLA, he had the hint of the windbag about him but I wanted to give him a
chance. I stuck to my guns for about 6 months until it became clear that
Blakely was all talk and no action. He insulted the community (he’s bound to
call Staten Islanders insular Guidos at some point) and launched a flotilla of
trial balloons for initiatives that never came to fruition.

I cannot honestly think of a tangible accomplishment by Blakely during his
time here. He promised “cranes in the sky” and, well, the skyline was
bereft of them until he was metaphorically ridden out of town on a rail.

I reckon that your staff looked at Kaiser Ed’s resume and didn’t use the Google
before the appointment was made. Bad staff, bad. If they had they would have
found my little buddy Jeffrey’s classic post, Come
Crane With Me: An Ed Blakely Timeline.
It’s a brilliant summary of
Blakely’s misspent time in the Crescent City and it’s funny as hell to boot.

There is only one way that this appointment makes sense, use him as an
example of bad recovery planning. Anything Kaiser Ed suggests, do the opposite.
The man does not know his ass from a hole in the ground but he can talk for
hours without saying a bloody thing that makes a lick of sense.

There’s still time for you to dodge the Blakely bullet, Andrew. I initially
refused to believe it was true so I consulted withGambit
Editor Kevin Allman
who confirmed the story even though it had yet to
appear anywhere in the reality based media such as the Times or Daily News; the
NY Post doesn’t count but you knew that already.

So, Governor, shitcan the appointment before Ed shows up, makes an ass out of
himself and embarrasses you by saying something stupid and offensive. Don’t say
that the folks in New Orleans didn’t warn you of his douchebaggery and
malakatude because I just did.

Your pal,


5 thoughts on “Dear Governor Cuomo:

  1. Dearest Andy is a Republican in gay marriage clothing, and I fervently wish Mario had exposed him on a hillside at birth. Andy is all-in for the austerity crap, and we in the Finger Lakes are fighting tooth and nail against fracking and for our water.

  2. I don’t remember about Blakely and Katrina. There are 2 things in your links that really caught my eye (one positive, one negative) admittedly a knee jerk reaction to short quotes which might not accurately reflect the bigger picture.
    1) In the link to librarychronicles, he is quoted as lobbying for someone from outside the area as they would ” less likely to be influenced by historical, cultural and political factors that can sway the decisions of local residents on issues including which geographic areas, if any, should be off limits to rebuilding”
    It is precisely those historical and cultural factors that make an area what it is. Shouldn’t we have rebuilt NOLA as a Hungarian community? /snark
    This also seems to be an omen that he would define his job as cramming things down the people’s collective throats – with an obvious result of open war between himself and the people who are already, very understandably and justifiably, upset.
    Not to mention the link’s obvious questioning of why he would, at his own expense, lobby for the position to even be formed even though he was in Australia. Really makes it sound like a repub with their hands at the corporate welfare till.
    2) On the good side, I’m glad to see the bestofneworleans quoted him as “”My role in this is to make sure they’re ready for what’s likely to be another one soon”
    As recent as 10 years ago, I’ve had folks from NY, NY tell me that a hurricaine has never hit NY and never will.
    In this mindset, the area’s infrastructure wasn’t hardened against a severe storm. This time it was landfall at, from memory, 80 mph sustained winds and a 12 foot storm surge. Even denying a rise in the average sea level and increased tendency to extratropical storms from global warming (both of which would make the need even greater. Just the anticipated sea rise will flood parts of Manhattan), this amount of damage should be a strong wake-up call for massive changes in what is permitted in rebuilding and future construction.

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