Musburger back when men were men and collars were huge.
Veteran schmucky sportscaster Brent Musburger is back in the news with a comment that is only semi-newsworthy because it happened during Alabama’s trouncing of Notre Dame. I suspect Brent is surprised at the blowback because he says stupid shit every time he’s on the air, which is why he’s malaka of the week.
One can almost hear the table rising as Malakaburger and his equally idiotic
sidekick Herb Herbstreit drool over a chick who is, in Brent’s case, about 50
years younger than he is. In short, he’s not only a sexist malaka but also a dirty old
man. I realize that shots of hot babes in the crowd are a staple of teevee game
coverage but Brent’s is way too old to drool over a jock’s chickadee. I realize that this may be incontinent drooling and I should be more charitable but fuck that. Methinks he needs a drool bucket…
Obviously, Musmalaka’s comments are a minor misdemeanor at most but every
time he’s broadcasting an event that I’m viewing, I start tearing my hair out,
which is a major problem when you’re as follically challenged as I am. I do,
however, have more hair than Doc.
Musburger used to be the lead announcer on NBA games, which is when my
loathing of his verbose and nasal style started. Malakaburger is one of those
sports guys who likes to nickname athletes; unfortunately, the ones he comes up
with are lame, lame, lame. He was fond of calling Bill Walton, “the
Mountain Man.” Walton hated the nickname and wasn’t that fond of Brent in
his heyday either. I remember Musmalaka cornering Big Bill after his splendid
underdog Trail Blazer team kicked Dr. J and the Sixers’ ass in the finals.
Brent actually called Walton “Mountain Man” and the star center said
something to the effect of: “I hate that name and won’t talk to you until
you call me Bill or better yet Mr. Walton.”
Most of the time, however, Brent is obsequious to the people he covers. I’ve
even heard him call the preternaturally goofy and dim LSU head football coach
Les Miles, “a genius.” Mad Hatter is an okay thing to call Les but
only an idiot would call him a genius.
Being a clueless schmuck is part and parcel of minor forms of malakatude, and
Brent has been cluelessly annoying the sporting public for over 40 fucking
years. Retire already, dude, and enjoy the fact that you’re a charter member of the
malakatude hall of fame.
Since I mentioned my fellow Deadhead Bill Walton, I’ll close with a Dead tune. It’s what Brent apparently needs:
And yes, that is Pete Townshend on stage with the Dead.