Pick up the homophone and dial 1-800-Stupid

When I saw this at Charlie Pierce's joint, my jaw hit the table, which was the only thing that kept me from laughing. Briefly. Here's how Caroline Moss played it at Business Insider's education blog:

An education blogger in Utah is out of a job today after writing a blog post explaining "homophones" for the Nomen Global Language Center

Tim Torkildson said he was fired by his boss and NGLC owner, Clarke Woodger, for promoting a gay agenda.

If you need a quick reminder from elementary school English class, a homophone is a word or words that are pronounced like another word but varies in spelling or definition, like "to, too, and two."

This is not the same as a homophobe, which is defined as a person who hates or fears those who identify with a homosexual orientation.

“This blog about homophones was the last straw.  Now our school is going to be associated with homosexuality," Woodger allegedly told Torkildson before letting him go.

Torkildson wrote a post about the firing here.

“I had to look up the word,” Woodger allegedly told him, “because I didn’t know what the hell you were talking about.  We don’t teach this kind of advanced stuff to our students, and it’s extremely inappropriate.  Can you have your desk cleaned out by eleven this morning?  I’ll have your check ready.”

It's great to know that a part of Utah's educational system (private sector division)  is run by silly people with deeply silly names. Mr. Woodger sounds like someone out of Wodehouse or Monty Python. Mr. Woodger wudely dismissed someone because he didn't know what a homophone was. I hope nobody is planning to write about Homo Sapiens or Homo Erectus in the Beehive State any time soon. That last one sounds too kinky for the good people of Utah, gosh darn it to heck.

Woodger wilco and out.

10 thoughts on “Pick up the homophone and dial 1-800-Stupid

  1. pansypoo says:

    ow! that’s some powerful stupid.

  2. mellowjohn says:

    a couple of summers ago, the filter on some christian news site automatically changed the name of U.S. sprinter Tyson Gay to – you guessed it – “Tyson Homosexual.”

  3. Ghost of Joe Liebling's Dog says:

    Drafting a supportive note to poor Mister Woodger, who will probably soon turn out to be The Real Victim in this:
    Deer Clock,
    Eye sport ewe in ewer stents on thus madder. Homer phones wood surly bee to hoard foray knew stew dent, an they wool awl pry be mutch bitter oaf whiff oat them. That is, eff ewe ken git anna mower stew dents atoll wants thus gnus brakes inn thee lodger media murk kits — owe, eight, atoll ratty did … two baaed, sow sad.
    Vary Trolly Ewers, Dog

  4. montag says:

    There’s a name in the news business for bored wire writers inserting fake stories into the wire feed–usually on weekends–just to see how far they’ll go, but I can’t remember what it is. That was my first reaction to this one. No one can be that stupid, not even in Utah.
    But, then, they elected Mike Lee and Orrin Hatch to represent them in the Senate, so, anything’s possible in the Beehive State.

  5. MichaelF says:

    Maybe we should warn Woodger ahead of time that “thespian” isn’t…you know.

  6. Robert Earle says:

    “I had to look up the word,” Woodger allegedly told him…”
    So when he did that, why didn’t he then say “Oh…that’s very different…never mind”
    Or does he mean he tried to AND THEN FAILED to look up the word?
    Either way, that must be one heck of a “Language Center” they’re running.

  7. adrastos says:

    @Montag: My first reaction as well. I double checked after doing a double take. It’s the real, really stupid deal.

  8. Kerry W says:

    What, does Nomen Global keep some info from Nomen Utah? They _teach_ homophones!
    https://webcache.googleusercontent.com/search?q=cache:kvBQPW_wGYEJ:nomenglobaltoday.blogspot.com/2014/07/help-with-homophones-1.html

  9. Alger says:

    For those of you who fear this might be a prank…Rejoice! Woodger really is exactly as stupid as reported:
    “People at this level of English,” Woodger says, ” … may see the ‘homo’ side and think it has something to do with gay sex.” -The Salt Lake Tribune
    http://www.sltrib.com/sltrib/politics/58236366-90/says-english-homophones-language.html.csp

  10. maplestreet says:

    We don’t teach that advanced stuff to our students ???????
    Could explain why all their students can’t tell the difference between you’re and your, they’re and there, ………

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