Malaka Of The Week: Charles Koch

Brawny

I usually reserve this space for schmucks, putzes, and douchebags, not for the genuinely dangerous. Charles Koch usually fits into the latter category but this week he’s gone, not rogue, but malaka. (If only he was as manly and shit as the Brawny guy on his Kochy paper towels.) Harry Reid has been baiting the Koch brothers for weeks with increasingly inflammatory comments. The plutocrats had resisted taking the bait, until yesterday. Charles Koch wrote an op-ed piece for the organ of the 1%, the Wall Street Journal, and that is why he is malaka of the week.

The chief #KochSucker regards himself as a public spirited citizen merely exercising his Roberts Court affirmed free speech rights. Repeat after me: he is not a bloodsucking plutocrat determined to take the country back to the 1890’s.

Here are a few excerpts from the article courtesy of TPM:

“The more government tries to control, the greater the disaster, as shown by the current health-care debacle,” he wrote in an op-ed. “Collectivists (those who stand for government control of the means of production and how people live their lives) promise heaven but deliver hell.”

“Instead of encouraging free and open debate, collectivists strive to discredit and intimidate opponents. They engage in character assassination,” he added, saying he was the target of “almost daily” attacks.

Poor widdle misunderstood billionaire. The mean old Commie pinko collectivists are persecuting him and he’s just standing up for himself like any picked on plutocrat. I must admit the image of the wizened Mormon Harry Reid as a Stalinist commissar tickles my fancy. Tovarich Harry must not use Brawny to wipe up his messes. I believe that Breznhev used Bounty to mop his ugly mug…

“Rather than try to understand my vision for a free society or accurately report the facts about Koch Industries, our critics would have you believe we’re “un-American” and trying to “rig the system,” that we’re against “environmental protection” or eager to “end workplace safety standards,” he continued.

The billionaire businessman argued he has no need or patience for political favors, touting his corporation’s environmental and jobs record.

“Far from trying to rig the system, I have spent decades opposing cronyism and all political favors, including mandates, subsidies and protective tariffs—even when we benefit from them,” Koch wrote. “I believe that cronyism is nothing more than welfare for the rich and powerful, and should be abolished.”

Malaka Koch doesn’t mention leader Reid by name but we all know who he’s talking about. I suspect it was the un-American jibe that led to the tycoon’s having one of his minions write the WSJ piece. He’s a patriot, goddammit. It’s proof positive that Harry’s anti-Koch brothers campaign is starting to work. The MSM has been pooh-poohing it but Reid has been baiting the bear trap with raw meat and the malakatudinous bear has gone for it. Chomp.

Each time one of these guys spouts off, it hurts their cause. They open themselves up to ridicule over their inability to take a punch and an old boxer like Harry Reid knows how to pound on his foes’ soft spots. And politician purchasing plutocrats like Charles Koch have many soft spots.. Score this round for Harry Reid. And that is why Charles Koch is malaka of the week.

Btw, is it just me or does anyone else miss the Brawny guy with the porn stache?

Brawny (1)

Pure white, just like the Tea Party…

4 thoughts on “Malaka Of The Week: Charles Koch

  1. MichaelF says:

    Brawny doesn’t quite rhyme with crony, but close enough for me…
    So, if collectivism is so awful, maybe Charles and David can divest themselves of their inheritance, earned mostly (if I remember correcctly) from railroad company real estate schemes, a massive private/public partnership that pushed enormous amounts of public funds to … people like Chuck and Dave’s granddaddy.
    That they haven’t squandered it all on booze, coke, and/or whores is hardly proof positive of their entrepreneurial genius. Besides, had they done so — or lost it all in other ways — they probably would have found themselves on the too-big-to-fail-list, and had it quietly handed back.
    Hell, if they can’t figure out how to shelter income, given the sheer number of methods available to the fat cats (and the ability to hire accountants to figure out how if they’re too dumb), anyway, if they can’t figure out how to shelter income, they deserve to lose it.
    Fucking assholes. Even if one of them does sponsor NOVA.

  2. gratuitous says:

    Interesting that you should mention Stalinist. My understanding is that Daddy Koch, who sired Chucky and Davey, made a lot of his pile through business dealings with Uncle Joe of the Soviet Union. Of course, after looting the People’s Treasury in Moscow, Koch renounced his previous business ties with Stalin, but kept the dough to pass on to his even greedier sons.

  3. montag says:

    Each one of the Koch brothers inherited $330 million upon Daddy Fred’s demise. None of them have one single fuckin’ clue about what’s it’s like to work, let alone what it’s like to work for people like them. Charles Koch’s idea of “freedom” is the right to steal from everyone, like he did to his Oklahoma oil suppliers (his reason, he said, was “I want my share, and that’s all of it”), to pollute at will, to clearcut the world, to buy politicians (mostly at discount rates–American pols come pretty cheaply) and to generally hoover up money wherever it can be found.
    No one, and I mean no one on gawd’s decreasingly green earth deserves a 94% top nominal rate and a swift kick in the nuts more than Charlie Koch.

  4. blue cheddar says:

    I agree. The stache Brawny guy looks much better.

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