Paragraph Of The Day: Charlie Pierce Edition

Most people hate Mondays. There is, however, one thing about Mondays that I look forward to: Charlie Pierce’s weekly What Are The Gobshites Saying These Days? feature. Pierce watches the Sunday shows so I don’t have to. Thanks, man. The mere thought of watching Disco Dave Gregory makes me feel like Fred Sanford having a fake heart attack.

Anyway, here’s what Charlie had to say about a certain guest on a show hosted by a certain venerable Texan:

Then, on a much lighter note, we have onetime Holy Roman Empire defense department correspondent Bob Schieffer’s explanation for how he lined up his guests for Face The Nation. Bob explained that they rousted John McCain out of bed “at six o’clock in the morning (!)” to talk about events in the Ukraine. Jesus H. Christ in the makeup chair, does anyone actually believe that? John McCain can hear the sound of a camera’s being plugged in at a distance of 20 miles. If he goes five consecutive hours without being on television, he gets the bends and has to be hospitalized. If he doesn’t have a light-rail shuttle from his basement to the studios in Washington, it’s only because he hasn’t completed the tunnel yet. There are camera hounds and there are camera hogs. John McCain is a camera black hole. So, no, Bob, I am not impressed that you managed to talk this diffident chap out of his seclusion to say the same goddamn things he’s been saying for two months. If you hadn’t, he’d be out front, laying siege to your offices. Yeesh.

I cannot top that, so I won’t even try.