It was a scary but surprisingly uplifting Halloween in Jupiter, Florida. Yes, I did say uplifting. Edward Mordrake and the demon on the back of his head chose their victim both wisely and well. Good work, dead freak killers.
Edward Mordrake’s Tour Of Souls: The aforementioned dead freak killer turned out to be a useful plot device. This week, we learned the back stories of the Seal Boy and Legless Suzi. The two-faced demon gave them a pass.
More chillingly, we learned Fraulein Elsa’s back story. She fell on hard times during the great depression and found work as a high class whore, dominatrix, and occasional porn diva. We learned how she lost her legs in the Weimar Republic’s version of a snuff film. Divine deadly decadence, darling. She was drugged and instead of being Lily von Shtupped, they cut off her glorious gams. No wonder she’s so batshit crazy. She’s starting to remind me of Norma Desmond of Sunset Boulevard fame. Norma also spend a lot of time admiring herself in the mirror.
Elsa begged the two-faced demon to take her and it looked as if her time as a bitter Marlena wannabe was over. Then, the demon heard the lilting sound of clown music in the distance and left. We’ll get to that in a moment but first, ladies and gentleman, give it up for Elsa Mars:
Twisty, R.I.P: The lilting clown music, of course, belonged to Twisty and his menagerie of hostages. Twisty’s back story is a sad one. He was a carney children’s clown who was tormented by “mean, evil freaks” who spread the story that he was a perv. That ended his clowning career lickety-split.
Twisty went home to Jupiter and decided to become the Rumplestiltskin of his time and transform trash into toys. It was not a happy experiment. He went to the local toy shop and was rejected by the owner. As you may recall, Twisty later returned and rejected the owner. Permanently.
Twisty was such a fuck up that he survived a suicide attempt that left him disfigured and even crazier than before. Twisty’s story so moves the two-faced demon that the latter kills the clown. Remind me never to tell a homicidal demon a touching story.
Jimmy the Darling Freak Hero: Our main man Jimmy the Darling Lobster Boy and Esmerelda stumble into Twistyville. Their first attempt to rescue the hostages is foiled by Dandy Mott who proceeds to put on a Halloween show that includes an attempt at sawing Esmerelda in half. Cue musical interlude:
Like the dude in the song, Dandy is a bad magician and the show is ruined by Jimmy and escaped hostages. Dandy throws an epic tantrum, which he will take out on the help later.
Jimmy is present to watch Mordrake and Twisty’s death dance. It turns out that Twisty thought he was saving the kids from the “mean, evil freaks.” All aboard the rationalization train, last stop hell.
When the police arrive at the crime scene, plucky fake medium Esmerelda informs the cops that Jimmy is the one who saved the kids, which makes him a bona fide freaking hero. Jimmy, of course, cannot leave well enough alone and mouths off at a detective about his dead friend, Meep the Geek. Meep, meep. It’s a bad idea to be a dick to dick. Meep, meep.
There’s actually a warm and fuzzy moment when the families of the hostages show up at the Freak Show to thank Jimmy and shake his lobstery hand. Elsa quite naturally focuses on what this means to her: evening shows and grateful butts in the seats. It’s an Elsa-centric world, y’all.
You didn’t think Murchuk would close on an uplifting moment did you? I would hope not.
Giuchie Giuchie Kill Ya: Dandy returns home after a night in the woods. He’s a dirty Dandy who has lost his pal, Twisty to the Ghoul Squad. He is peeved, petulant, and pouty, and takes out his wrath on feisty family retainer Dora. My dream of seeing Patti LaBelle sing Lady Marmalade on Freak Show is over.
I’ll give the Kinks the last word. Let’s all drink to the death of a clown: