I hate to even mildly praise Chris Christie but I got an enormous kick out of his post-Iowa slam at Marco Rubio:
“You know me, unlike some of these other campaigns, I’m not the boy in the bubble. We know who the boy in the bubble is up here, who never answers your questions, who’s constantly scripted and controlled, because he can’t answer your questions,” Christie told reporters after a rally at his campaign headquarters in Bedford. “So when Senator Rubio gets here, when the boy in the bubble gets here, I hope you guys ask him some questions, because it’s time for him to start answering questions. He wants to say this race is over and it’s all him?”
He may be an assholish jerk but Christie is right about Rubio. There’s something synthetic and unreal about him. He did surprisingly well in Iowa, but the flying monkeys of the hard right are in the saddle in the GOP primaries. They still haven’t forgiven his apostasy on immigration. Remember when Republicans said they needed outreach to Hispanic voters? That’s why Rubio got involved before bailing on his own bill when it flopped in the House. One might even call it McCain syndrome since Senator Walnuts did the same thing during the 2008 election cycle. In this year of xenophobia and immigrant bashing, it will be interesting to see how Little Marco does in future states. I do not have access to a functioning crystal ball so it beats the hell outta me.
The politician Marco Rubio reminds me of the most is John Edwards. There’s just something about him that’s insincerely sincere and downright robotic. Mr. Data on Star Trek: TNG was more human than Rubio. He also looks like a compendium of nesting dolls, stacked uneasily on top of one another. I’m unsure whether he’s a boyish man or a mannish boy, but either way he bugs the living shit out of me. He’s unworthy of this clip, but the tune is in my head so what else can I do?
Speaking of bubbles, I’m in the Carnival bubble right now. It’s a good place to be and I’m going to enjoy it until Ash Wednesday when I may or may not repent my sins. I plan to enjoy myself and spend less time on the idiocy of the 2016 campaign and the endless punditry about the significance of two of the whitest states in the Union, especially on the Democratic side. Maybe Utah should move its primary up. I misplaced my ouija board so what happens *after* the Granite State beats the hell outta me. I do, however, think the candidates should take nothing for granite…
For myself, I’ll be posting my regular features, eating and drinking too much, and doing Carnival shit. I’m not quite sure if I’ll be the New Orleans version of the boy in the bubble but you can never tell.
Speaking of talented jerks, I’ll give Paul Simon the last word:
Here’s some Simon Lagniappe. Hmm, sounds like a florist from Opelousas: