Since Athenae wasn’t able to negotiate a deal on a new Crack Van in time for tonight’s showdown, I got kicked out twice and gave up. I plan to kick the tires of the next one and hard. I only hope it doesn’t run over my foot and crush it like Donald Trump got crushed by Hillary Clinton tonight. You’re a fucking LOSER, Donald.
Few people actually write their own epitaph. It happened at the Vivisection in Vegas. Trump wrote his political epitaph tonight when asked by if he’d accept the result of the election:
“I will look at it at the time. I’ll keep you in suspense, okay?”
Talk about sealing one’s own fate or putting the last nail in one’s own coffin. Name your cliché, Trump did it. That’s totally disqualifying dumbassery. No Oval One wannabe has ever said such a thing in a public forum since 1860. It undermines the essence of our democracy. I hated like hell when Al Gore conceded after the Supremes defeated him in 2000 BUT it had to be done. That’s our system. I hope that every Republican who supports Trump will be asked about those 15 words that HRC aptly called “horrifying.” It was the only moment that really mattered. I’m not sure if he’s toast or overcooked chauvinist suckling pig but one can definitely stick a fork in him. Let’s twist it while we’re at it. Fuck you, Donald.
Hillary mopped the floor with the Insult Comedian for the third time. He kept his cool for the first half-hour, then the meltdown commenced. He sniffed, fidgeted, lied, and glowered. He’s the whiniest so-called tough guy I’ve ever seen in my life. I wonder what he actually knows about Generals Patton and MacArthur beyond their names. I bet he hasn’t even seen the bio-pics with George C. Scott and Gregory Peck. Btw, George C. Scott was as big an asshole in real life as Trump. As for General Patton, he would have slapped the shit out of the sniveling draft dodger Trump. Greg Peck, of course, was a perfect gentleman and Dugout Doug MacArthur was a pompous windbag. End of oddball history lesson.
The other big moment was when Trump muttered “such a nasty woman.” It confirmed the worst fears of all those college educated suburban women (the soccer moms of 2016) about Trump’s misogyny. He was mortally offended that a mere woman had the Billy Bush to stand up to him. Hillary *is* made of steel, and not Chinese steel either. Fuck you, Donald.
I thought Mike Wallace’s kid did a decent job as moderator until the last two questions, which were stale Fox News talking points. Otherwise, he controlled the two candidates fairly well although I know Trump would demur: WRONG. That’s demur, not demure: Donald is never demure and probably doesn’t know what demur means. Actually de muir woods is a national monument not far from San Francisco…
Another thing that struck me was when Trump claimed that he didn’t know *any* of the women who came forward after the pussy dragging tape came out. There were two he knew quite well: Summer Davos who was on The Apprentice and Natasha Stoynoff who covered him for People Magazine. Trump also claimed the allegations were so specious that he didn’t apologize to his wife. WRONG. Moe’s wife said that Moe apologized to her even if was Larry’s fault. Fuck you, Donald.
I spent much of the debate on Twitter. Here are a few highlight from lil ole me as well as the peanut gallery. We’ll start with two self-quotes:
Trump is the worst human being to run for President since Andrew Jackson. And he at least won the battle of New Orleans.
— Shecky (@Adrastosno) October 20, 2016
Trump just bashed Reagan? The GOPers just keeled over.
— Shecky (@Adrastosno) October 20, 2016
Enough of online Sheckiness. Let’s move on to some other folks; one of whom is Dr. Jill Biden.
That Kate McKinnon-as-Hillary line about how she's made of steel? She really is.
— Stephanie Grace (@stephgracela) October 20, 2016
One of these candidates knows the facts, the stakes and the plans. The other is your uninformed, drunk relative who never, ever shuts up.
— George Takei (@GeorgeTakei) October 20, 2016
Hillary is accurately diagnosing Trump tonight: that he always blames others for his failures, that he sees conspiracies everywhere #Debate
— Jonathan Freedland (@Freedland) October 20, 2016
Historians will describe this as:
Former Secretary of State wiped the floor with Sniffy Failed Reality Show Host who Doodled.#DebateNight
— Karen DaltonBeninato (@kbeninato) October 20, 2016
#debatenight Trump: I will not let any company leave this country. They'll hit my wall and — boom! — back they'll bounce. Bigly. Sniff.
— Driftglass, Guardian of Inconvenient History (@Mr_Electrico) October 20, 2016
Finally, the intrepid Tony Schwartz the co-author of The Art of the Deal turned Trump tormentor attended the Vivisection in Vegas:
Waited whole campaign to stand next to Trump and look him in eye. Loved him sticking hand out and then snatch it back when he saw it was me
— Tony Schwartz (@tonyschwartz) October 20, 2016
I’m tired, folks. Listening to Donald Trump lie for 95 minutes is exhausting. It confirmed my belief, however, that Donald Trump will not be the first Insult Comedian elected President.
I’ll let the Traveling Wilburys play the miserable bastard off-stage:
I forgot something: Fuck you, Donald.