The Klan Kan’t Spell

The weirdest election in American history gets stranger by the day. Strike that: by the minute. My friend Lamar White Jr. posted a picture of an election packet distributed by the Loyal White Knights of the Ku Klux Klan in rural Many, Louisiana. That’s right: Many in Sabine Parish. You cannot make this shit up, y’all.

The Many Klan packet has gone viral not only for its sinister weirdness but its unintentional humor:

Photograph by Lamar White Jr.

What did I tell you? The Klan kan’t spell. There are a variety of theories about the word Poles. It could have something to do with Kluxxer (Kluxxette?) strippers slowly removing their hoods whilst undulating to Free Bird. My own pet theory is that it has something to do with Polish voters in Cleveland and Chicago or even Polish American fans of the World Series teams.  I suspect the Polish Falcons are outraged. What it really reflects, of course, is dumbassery and malakatude of the highest order as well as comedy of the lowest sort. Repeat after me: the Klan kan’t spell.

It’s not a shocker that the KKK is capable of heavy-handed symbolism. Subtlety has never been its strong suit but white Lifesavers? Really? I guess the Klan is gonna save the nice white people of Many from the evil female President who’s supported by the evil Black President. I wonder what flavor it was: wintergreen or spearmint? It’s a pity that there wasn’t a Cheeto in the packet to reflect their support for the man some call Cheeto Jesus but I call the Insult Comedian. In any event, a white Lifesaver on your car windshield beats the hell out of a burning cross on your lawn.

The reasons for this assault on the people of the racially mixed community of Many are obvious. Donald Trump is running for President as a White Nationalist and David Duke is vying for the Gret Stet hooker seat. Hey, maybe the misspelling of polls was a nod to Bitter Vitter. Probably not. Speaking of the erstwhile Gret Stet Fuhrer, Dukkke qualified for a Senate debate on Wednesday at Dillard University in New Orleans. For the uninitiated, Dillard is a HBC: historically black college. I told you this was a deeply weird election cycle. I’ll post an instant analysis of the Gret Stet Senate debate on either Wednesday night or Thursday morning

Not only has the election been tough on the voters, it has been a tough year for candy as my friend and Spank krewe-mate Brett pointed out on da Twittahs:

Add another candy to the list: Smarties were found in a few Klan packets instead of white Lifesavers. I guess some of the Loyal White Knights were disloyal to white Lifesavers or maybe they were making a statement about their own intelligence. Beats the hell out of me. I’ve never read The Klan for Dummies…

There has been so much weird nonsense this year that all one can do is mock it. Mockery = sanity. One thing we’ve learned in the Gret Stet of Louisiana is that Hate Is A Many (Louisiana) Splendored Thing.

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