Stupid Fell On Alabama

Kyle Whitmire is a columnist for the Alabama Media Group d/b/a online as AL.Com. He’s a national treasure who coined the phrase “the Alabamafication of America.” His Twitter handle sums up his approach: @WarOnDumb.

Speaking of dumb, the latest wingnut craze is attacking critical race theory. CRT came to prominence because of the NYT’s 1619 Project, but it’s been  around as an academic discipline for decades. It takes a revisionist look at the history of race in America. That’s my simplistic thumbnail sketch. The simpletons who are trying to ban it have no idea what CRT is. One could even call them CRT cretins.

Whitmire decided to ask the sponsor of a bill banning CRT in Alabama schools what it is.

There’s been a lot of talk about critical race theory lately, and I’ve felt at a loss. I’ve heard so many conflicting things about critical race theory, I’ve gotten more and more confused.

So I did what middle-aged white men are prone to do — I asked another middle-aged white man. But not just any. I called an Alabama lawmaker, state Rep. Chris Pringle, R-Mobile, who wants to make it illegal to teach critical race theory in Alabama.


How would his bill define critical race theory?

“It basically teaches that certain children are inherently bad people because of the color of their skin, period,” Pringle said.
That sounded very serious, indeed. Nazi-like, even. So I asked Pringle if there were any critical race theorists he could point to who have been spreading such toxic garbage?
“Yeah, uh, well — I can assure you — I’ll have to read a lot more,” he said.

A canned answer from a guy who shares his surname with canned chips.

Shorter Pringle: I heard about it from Tucker and Hannity. It sounds scary and fear is a great fundraising tool.

The Canned Chips Chap’s story got even weirder when he discussed an article he supposedly read:

“These people, when they were doing the training programs — and the government — if you didn’t buy into what they taught you a hundred percent, they sent you away to a reeducation camp,” Pringle said.


“The white male executives are sent to a three-day re-education camp, where they were told that their white male culture wasn’t their —” he trailed off again.

Re-education camps? So, there are concentration camps for racist peckerwoods? Who knew? That’s some serious shit.

The good news is that Pringle is making shit up. There is no such article, and nobody is teaching CRT in Alabama K-12 classrooms.

The bad news is that we’re having this discussion at all.  I wish the culture war would cancel itself.

Anything that CRT cretins such as Texas Governor Greg Abbott and the Canned Chips Chap are against, I’m for.

Waging the war on dumb is exhausting. I don’t know how Kyle Whitmire does it. Actually, I do. I live in the Gret Stet of Louisiana, after all.

The last word goes to the Chairman of the Board:

4 thoughts on “Stupid Fell On Alabama

  1. Are those the same re-education camps Obama set up or new ones?

  2. It has come to my attention perhaps I should stop advocating rounding them up, at gun-point if need be, stuffing them into cattle-cars and “escorting” them, for their own safety of course, to reservations somewhere out in the hinterlands … someone might get the wrong idea.

    Nobody gets it anyways …

    Gonna’ have to send them to education camps before re-education.

  3. Those MAGAts need to tighten up their tinfoil hats.

    FLATSCREENS are programmed by the chicom haxx0rs with subliminal message.
    They need to switch back to True-Amerikan CRTs, and get their daily dose of x-rays.
    CRTs are *filled* with right-wing smartz, it’s true.

  4. If there are concentration camps for racist peckerwoods all I can say is, “It’s about time!” /s (sorta, just in case)

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