Thou Shalt Not Lie

Conway Regional Hospital Testament

So here we are, a year an a half into the pandemic, coming up on nine months since the release of the vaccine, and we still have those for whom the vaccine is a non-starter. I honestly don’t know which is worse, the general public who refuse to get the jab or the health care workers who refuse to get it. The general public refusers are unaware idiots who believe in conspiracy theories and the rantings of right wing talk shows. The healthcare workers, that’s another story. To have heard patients struggling to gasp their last breath, to have seen the anguish of a spouse or a child and to still say they won’t take the simplest of precautions, that takes a special kind of asshattery.

So here’s a little story to brighten the day of sarcastic hearts like mine.

It seems that the Conway Regional Health System of Arkansas has mandated that all employees must get the vaccine or have a COVID test done every 48 hours. They are being generous though and offering an out of a kind to employees who have sincerely held religious beliefs regarding the vaccine because it was developed with the help of fetal cell tissue. For the uninitiated that means cells from fetuses that were either spontaneously or surgically aborted. Many abortion opponents feel that nothing short of burial is the proper disposition for the mass of cells constituting that which is removed from a woman’s body during an abortion. Use for the development of new drugs or the upgrading of old drugs is out of bounds to these folks.

So many “religious” anti-vaxxers who refuse to get the jab do so with this as their reasoning. And they probably feel all smug and sanctimonious about it. But the folks at Conway have decided to call their bluff.

If an employee claims a religious exemption they must sign the statement that you see above. If you don’t see it, it basically says, “okay I agree that by saying I have a religious reason for not wanting the jab because it was developed with the aid of fetal cell tissue therefore I agree to ALSO not use any of the 30 drugs listed in the document”. This list of drugs includes Tylenol, Pepto Bismol, aspirin, Tums, Lipitor, ibuprofen, Sudafed, Benedryl, Senekot, and many other common over the counter and prescription medications that also were developed with the aid of fetal cell tissue.

So good luck if you get a cold while also having an upset stomach and heartburn which elevates your cholesterol count and makes you unable to take a shit. Man I wouldn’t wish that on anyone.

I take that back, I would wish it on anyone who uses religion as a convenient excuse to avoid doing their part to end this pandemic. The gullible Fox News genuflecting gentry who do it simply to “own the libs” are bad enough. These folks pushing the religious angle are a whole dimension away from sanity.

Religious hypocrites have always been with us and their hypocrisy knows no religious borders. There are just as many hypocritical Muslims as Christians as Hindus as Sikhs as Jews. My ancestral tribe, the Jews, have even turned the hypocrisy into a thriving business model. You haven’t lived till you’ve taken a ride on a Sabbath elevator or employed the services of a Shabbos Goy.  The invention of the telephone answering machine was a (pardon the expression) godsend for the ultra-orthodox.

But these are minor personal hypocrisies that are dwarfed by Conservative Christians who claim the COVID vaccine is traif,…er…sorry my Yiddish broke through there, I mean those who claim the COVID vaccine is forbidden because it was developed with the help of fetal cell tissue while continuing to scarf down Tums or Claritin, also developed with that same help. This vaccine prevents you from dying yes, but also other people from dying. You may love god, but you don’t get to play him/her with the lives of others.

Especially if you work in the healthcare field.

So good for Conway Regional Health Systems for calling these troglodytes out on their bullshit. Personally I hope some employee signs this then pops a Preparation H up where you are supposed to pop it and gets called on it. Better yet fired.

Because the biggest hypocrisy of religion is when one religion calls on it’s adherents to kill the adherents of another. And that’s exactly what these zealots are doing by not getting the jab.

Shapiro Out

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