Malaka Of The Week: Marco Rubio

Remember when Marco Rubio was the future of the Republican party? That’s what they thought when he was given the chance to rebut President Obama’s SOTU on Mardi Gras day in 2013. It hasn’t turned out that way. In 2022, Rubio is just another Trump sycophant. And that is why Florida Senator Marco Rubio is malaka of the week.

Rubio is one of many Republican politicians who deserves to be “honored” for a lifetime of malakatude. We’ll get to Malaka Marco’s past achievements in a moment.

Here’s the latest example of Marco’s malakatude:

Zelensky’s people asked the Senators NOT to live-Tweet during the Zoom call. Only Malaka Marco and Montana’s Steve Daines ignored these reasonable requests.

Rubio was unrepentant:

The GOP senator then argued that Markarova was “under the impression that no one knew that call was happening.”

“That call had been widely reported. Actually, the specific time had been reported,” Rubio said. “There were over 300 people on it. All the call details had been e-mailed. So, there was nothing secure about that call.”

Rubio added that his tweet contained a “nondescript picture.”

“It looks just like any of the other ones that you have seen out there publicly. So, there’s no risk posed,” Rubio said, before accusing Democrats of trying to publicize themselves by calling him out for his tweet.

“You’re always going to have a couple of people that want their name in an article somewhere and mentioned in the press,” Rubio said.

That’s Trump level projection and arrogance.

Remember when Marco mocked Trump during the 2016 campaign?

“And you know what they say about guys with small hands,” Rubio said with a smile, prompting stunned laughter from the crowd.

After a brief pause he added: “You can’t trust ’em!” The crowd responded with applause.

Rubio also targeted Trump’s notorious tan, saying he “doesn’t sweat because his pores are clogged from the spray tan.”

“Donald Trump isn’t gonna make America great, he’s gonna make America orange,” he said.

That’s right, a United States senator running for president made dick jokes. It’s less shocking now because we’ve become desensitized after years of loutish conduct by the Impeached Insult Comedian.

Like so many Republicans, Rubio abased himself time and time again during the Trump era. He was once considered a moderate on many issues but he’s become a Trump loyalist. As I keep pointing out, loyalty is a one way-street with the Kaiser of Chaos. He expects abject loyalty but only reciprocates if his lackeys have something on him like Paul Manafort or Roger Stone.

Rubio has a formidable opponent in Congresswoman Val Demings from Orlando. She’s a tough former cop and a House manager in the first Trump impeachment trial. Statewide races in Florida are usually close and this one will be no exception but Demings is up to the task. Hopefully, it will be Goodbye Rubio Tuesday on election day. That line is one of *my* greatest hits so forgive the repetition. I think the Glimmer Twins have:

As you can see from this GIF, Malaka Marco wasn’t ready for prime time in 2013.

The content was nearly as bad as the image but nobody remembers what the sweaty senator said. We only remember the clumsy way he retrieved the water bottle.

He thought he could live his flop sweat down by running for president in 2016 but he was still wasn’t ready for prime time. He still isn’t in 2022. And that is why Marco Rubio is malaka of the week.

I have hands and water on my mind after revisiting Malaka Marco’s greatest hits, so the last word goes to Paul McCartney with a song that includes this refrain: “hands across the water.” Clever lad, that Macca: