One Door Ted

The police response to the Uvalde massacre has been an outright disaster. Governor Hey Abbott has brought to bear his tried-and-true technique of lying his way through a crisis then hunkering down to let the dust settle. The lies told by the Governor and his Cowboy-hatted coppers show signs of not working this time.

The “good guy with a gun” myth seems to have been exploded. Did an armed officer confront the murderer before he captured the fourth graders? Abbott and his minions have told so many contradictory stories that even the fog of war excuse might not protect them from the political fallout. Let’s hope so.

The only honest moment of Abbott’s first presser came from his opponent:

That was Beto’s Bobby Kennedy moment. He’s been criticized for political posturing. It sounds like righteous indignation to me, y’all. Besides, the Governor went ahead with a fundraiser after he heard the news from the slaughter scene. Freedom, man.

Hey Abbott was so nervous about his press conference that he brought every Texas Republican he could find to stand on the podium behind him:

Liars of a feather flock together.

In this case, the sharing of bad ideas was on the menu: arming teachers, hardening schools, anything but even the mildest form of gun control. How about an age limit to purchase assault weapons? In Texas, you can’t drink at age 18 but you can buy a weapon of war. Freedom, man.

That brings me to the post title and featured image. Of the many terrible ideas in the wake of the Uvalde massacre, Ted Cruz’s is perhaps the worst:

I hesitate to dignify this idiotic idea with the word proposal. but he keeps repeating it as if it were a magic incantation. Hence my new nickname for the smarmy senator from Texas: One Door Ted.

This “idea” would have the effect of turning schools into traps with limited means of escape. What if the good guy with a gun failed to stop the bad guy with an assault weapon? The result would still be carnage.

You know what else has only one door, Ted? Prisons.

Are our schools supposed to be supermax prisons with crayons?

It’s time for the MSM to stop citing One Door Ted’s educational resume as proof of his intelligence and admit that the so-called smartest guy in the room is a dangerous dolt.

Finally, One Door Ted ran away from a British reporter’s questions after the press conference from hell:

Freedom, man.

The last word goes to Richard Thompson followed by the Allman Brothers Band.

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