Malaka Of The Week: Steve Garvey

As a San Francisco Giants fan I love to hate the Los Angeles Dodgers. During the baseball season, I’m apt to post #FTD on social media: Fuck The Dodgers. Steve Garvey was the Dodger I hated the most in my youth. He’s back in the news. And that is why Steve Garvey is malaka of the week.

Garvey played for the Dodgers from 1969-1982 before finishing his baseball career with the San Diego Padres. I don’t hate the Padres; I merely disdain them. They wore brown uniforms in Garvey’s time with the team. He looked like a turd in those togs.

Garvey was a 10-time all-star and the National League MVP in 1974. He was also the most overrated player of his day. He was a glory hog and a selfish player strictly in it for himself. In the pre-analytics era, he was considered a great player by many, but his stats were hollow and his persona sanctimonious. He was thought to be a hall of famer while playing but never made it. There are enough Dodgers at Cooperstown as is. Never enough Giants. #FTD

When Garvey played, he was thought to be a potential political candidate. He was an ardent Republican at a time when California was a purple state. His political hopes went up in flames when seamy revelations about his sordid sex life became public in 1989; a huge political minus in saner times. That changed when the Indicted Impeached Insult Comedian took over the party of Honest Abe, TR, and Ike. Garvey’s zipper issues pale next to those of rapey former President* Pennywise.

Steve Garvey is back in the news. He’s floated a trial balloon about a possible 2024 senatorial candidacy:

“Los Angeles Dodgers legend and Republican Steve Garvey has discussed the possibility of running to succeed Sen. Dianne Feinstein, a move that would reshape California’s marquee Senate race.

“He is seriously considering entering the race,” consultant Andy Gharakhani, who is advising the former All-Star, said in a text message. “He’s concerned about the same issues facing all Californians, out of control cost-of-living and high taxes, rising crime and lack of opportunities.”

I guess Garvey misses the applause because California’s days as a purple state ended in the last century. He’s not the lone Republican in the face. Eric Early, the GOP’s losing candidate for attorney general in 2022, is already running. On the surface, the best Garvey could do is to prevent two Democrats from making the runoff in California’s open primary. Or is it?

The Democratic field is a strong one featuring House members Adam Schiff, Katie Porter, and Barbara Lee. I like all three, but I think Schiff benefits from the legal trials and tribulations of Donald Trump because he led the charge in the first impeachment.

Another odd thing about Garvey running is his age, he’s 76 in a race in which the Feinstein factor looms large.  Of course, he’s not running to win. SF Gate’s Eric Ting proposes an oddball answer to my rhetorical question, or is it?

While Garvey entering the race and dividing Republican support seems like a good thing for the three Democratic candidates on first blush, it also cracks the door open slightly for the national Democratic Party’s nightmare scenario. For the sake of this thought exercise: Let’s assume the March 2024 electorate mirrors the November 2022 electorate, so about 60% of voters vote Democrat and 40% vote Republican. It’s way too early to tell how Garvey and Early might divide the GOP electorate, but let’s say Garvey runs as a moderate while Early remains a firebrand more closely aligned with the base of the national Republican Party, and they split Republican voters evenly. That means Garvey gets around 18% to 20% of the total primary vote, and Early gets another 18% to 20%.


Let’s also assume none of the three Democratic candidates break through, and they divide the remaining 60% of the electorate relatively evenly among themselves as well. That puts all five candidates around 18% to 20%, and if Garvey and Early end up at, say, 19.3% and 19.2%, and the leading Democrat is at 19.1%, that means the two Republicans advance to the general, and Democrats lose a Senate seat in a deep-blue state.

It’s a longshot but so was a rich reality show host with a dead nutria pelt atop his head advancing to the White House. Anything is possible but too many dominoes would have to land perfectly for this work as suggested by Mr. Ting. I cannot resist making a musical pun on the pundit’s name:

Additionally, Garvey retired from baseball during the Reagan administration, which doesn’t exactly make him a hot political commodity. Then there’s the Dodger factor. How many aged Republican Giants fans would vote for the Dodger they love to hate? Beats the hell outta me. #FTD

Whatever happens with the possible Garvey candidacy, I’m glad that he’s presented his ass for me to kick. Mocking Steve Garvey was my jam for many years. It makes me feel younger than yesterday as The Byrds album title goes. And that is why Steve Garvey is malaka of the week. #FTD

The last word goes to Frank Sinatra followed by Oscar Peterson, not The Byrds:

Have I told you lately how much I love Oscar Peterson? Even more than I hate Steve Garvey. #FTD

4 thoughts on “Malaka Of The Week: Steve Garvey

  1. as a young Yankees fan i saw a lot of him during the Steinbrenner-Martin championship runs. i thought he was a big fake even back then.

    1. my mom’s parents, who lived next door, were from NYC, and my grandfather got all the NY tabloids. plus all our cable networks were NYC feeds. it was inevitable.

  2. I was a Yankee fan for many years. When growing up in R.I. my uncle and godfather taught me the game by listening to Mel Allen and Red Barber on the radio. It was a Saturday ritual. He also brought me to the only game I have ever seen at Fenway between the Yankees and Red Sox.

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