If it’s Tuesday, it must be the twenty-third installment in the recurring series inspired by the 1991 Duke-Edwards Gret Stet governor’s race. It was the most intense electoral experience of my life; formative too, it gave me an intense dislike of all forms of extremism.

A reminder of the unofficial slogan of the race from hell:

In 2024, we’re flipping that on its head and voting AGAINST the crook. It’s even more important.

The latest reason to vote against the crook is that he’s an asshole, not an outlaw. He *is* a criminal but his supporters have romanticized this creep into the sort of cowboy movie outlaw that Americans have long admired such as Jesse James:

That image of Trump astride a horse cracks me up. It’s part of the MAGA Maggot tendency to reimagine the portly former president as some sort of superhero or, in this case, outlaw. If he ever tried riding a horse, he’d fall off after spooking his steed.

The outlaw mythos has long had a pernicious effect on our society. It’s based on the Robin Hood myth in which the outlaw steals from the rich and gives to the poor. In contrast, the Kaiser of Chaos steals from those who weren’t blessed with a ruthless real estate magnate for a father and gives to himself. Remember Trump University? The Insult Comedian was forced to pay through the nose for that fraudulent scheme.

Trump is already planning his next asshole move: another regressive tax cut, which will benefit Elon Musk, Peter Thiel, and himself. If that’s an outlaw, I’m a Falcons fan, not a Saints fan; a Dodgers fan, not a Giants fan.

Repeat after me: He’s an asshole, not an outlaw. Outlaws kick up, assholes kick down.

Another pernicious myth is the idea that assholery is synonymous with strength. It’s prevalent in sports, especially football where some of the biggest assholes have been successful coaches. Bill Belichick is the most notable recent example of football coach assholery.

In the end, Belichick wore out his welcome once he stopped winning. Then he was fired by his asshole owner Robert Kraft who has had a falling out with the asshole former president. The Dipshit Insurrection was too much even for that plutocratic asshole. The two asshole rich guys haven’t spoken since then. The assholery, it burns.

The only thing Donald Trump has ever won politically was the electoral college in 2016. It’s the best argument I can think of for abolishing the electoral college. It led to the election of an asshole who looted the treasury for his own gain. That’s a far cry from Jesse James or Robin Hood.

We’ve had all the reverse Robin Hoodism we can stand.

Vote against the crook, it’s important: He’s an asshole, not an outlaw.

The last word goes to Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers: