What has Greece done to deserve Kimberly Guilfoyle as ambassador? Beats the hell outta me. This mystery is why Kimberly Guilfoyle is malaka of the week.
Kimberly Guilfoyle is a throwback. She’s best known for the men in her life:
Her ex-husband is California Governor Gavin Newsome. What did he do to deserve her? Beats the hell outta me.
Her ex-boyfriend is Don Junior. What did he do to deserve her? You name it.
The world just learned that Guilfoyle and Don Junior broke up. He’s seeing some Palm Beach socialite named Bettina Anderson. She’s younger than Guilfoyle and wears half-a-pound of makeup instead of a pound:
That picture is fuzzy and a bit sketchy but so are most things that happen at Mar-a-Lago. It’s where grifters go to grift and sycophants go to suck up.
Enough about Don Junior’s creepy love life, let’s get back to ambassador designate and malaka of the week, Kimberly Guilfoyle.
Guilfoyle is part of a Trumpy trend of appointing Fox hosts to high office. She worked there from 2006-2018. I suspect Fox hired her because of the Newsome connection and her rivalry with Kamala Harris. Guilfoyle was the host as troll. How MAGA is that?
It’s unclear why President-elect Pennywise decided to send Guilfoyle to Athens. The post is usually filled by political appointees, so she checks that box. They’re often wealthy Greek Americans: Guilfoyle is Irish and Puerto Rican, not one of my compatriots.
Was it a reward for her putting up with Don Junior for many years? Was it to get her out of the country and Don Junior’s greasy hair while he courts Anderson? Beats the hell outta me.
Not long after the appointment was made, the Daily Beast ran a story with this headline: Kimberly Guilfoyle Grovels to Greek Billionaire After ‘Freeloaders’ Insult.
Ambassador to Greece nominee Kimberly Guilfoyle appeared to be doing serious damage control during a Thursday interview with Greek magnate John Catsimatidis following a report that she called Greeks “freeloaders.”
Guilfoyle knows how to grovel to a Greek grocery tycoon:
”I just want to say, one of the reasons why I was so thrilled and really wanted to serve as an ambassador to Greece is because of my great love and admiration for you, for your family, for the incredible country of Greece,” Guilfoyle said, before showering Catsimatidis with more platitudes. “You are beloved there, you are such an iconic Greek American businessman and really an entrepreneur, and someone living the American dream and you’re such an inspiration to so many and a very close friend to the president.”
I think I’m gonna hurl. Pass the barf bag.
Perhaps that egregious sycophancy explains the appointment. Or did the Kaiser of Chaos confuse her with Laura Loomer?
Loomer is a shorter and nuttier version of Kimberly Guilfoyle as well as a malaka of the week alumnae.
In the end, the joke is on the Greeks. What has Greece done to deserve Kimberly Guilfoyle as ambassador? It still beats the hell outta me. This unsolved mystery is why Kimberly Guilfoyle is malaka of the week.
The last word goes to Rufus Wainwright:
Hilarious that she might still be named an ambassador to anywhere but crazy town.
As a fellow Hellenic American, I am mortified. She’s a real piece of work, and she’s apparently too much (too little?) for Don Jr. What a joke…