The dizzying pace of MAGA destruction has me feeling punchy or as they say in the old movies I’m so fond of, slap happy. It’s time to punch back and slap some MAGA miscreants around until they’re punch drunk.
We begin with the main MAGA miscreant, the Kaiser of Chaos. He’s so full of himself that he thinks he has the right to decide what nationality his subjects are:
Trump: "Schumer is a Palestinian as far as I'm concerned. He's become a Palestinian. He used to be Jewish. He's not Jewish anymore. He's a Palestinian."
I slapped Senator Schumer around for caving on the cloture vote last week, it’s time to come to his defense.
In this despicable statement, Trump managed to simultaneously slur Jews and Palestinians. You know who else thought they could decide a citizen’s nationality?
It’s a miracle that he didn’t punch himself. A Hitlerian knock-out would have been most entertaining.
If I were Chuck Schumer I would say: “Trump is a Russian as far as I’m concerned. He’s become a Russian. He used to be American. He’s not American anymore. He’s a Russian.”
The Insult Comedian is not only a Russian, he’s this kind of Russkie:
I haven’t used that Cold War era slur in eons, it fits the moment.
Speaking of actual Palestinians, Team Trump is making an example of Mahmoud Khalil. He’s the Columbia University grad student who was among the leaders of campus anti-Israel protests. Khalil is legally in the country and is married to an American. He’s been detained by ICE and shuffled around the country landing in Louisiana. Why the Gret Stet? So he will be in the Fifth Circuit’s jurisdiction, a court made up of batshit crazy wingnuts.
I disagree with Khalil’s views, BUT I’m old fashioned: I believe in the First Amendment and a person’s right to be wrong, even egregiously so. The federal government has no right to snap its fingers and make someone disappear. Team MAGA seems to be emulating the 1970’s Argentinian military dictatorship’s Dirty War policy of disappearing its opponents. An ominous precedent indeed.
Speaking of imperious idiots who think they have the right to affix odious labels to their opponents, Elon Musk has called Arizona Senator Mark Kelly a traitor. That’s rich coming from a guy who is on his third citizenship. Musk went from South African to Canadian before becoming an American citizen. Make up your mind, asshole.
Why did Reich Chancellor Musk call Senator Kelly a traitor? He visited Ukraine. That’s it.
I’m old enough to remember when liberals dug Teslas because of their low carbon footprint. Those days are long gone:
Senator Mark Kelly is getting rid of his Tesla, saying, “I don’t want to be driving a car built and designed by an asshole.”This comes just days after Elon Musk called the astronaut and decorated veteran a “traitor” for supporting Ukraine.
— Republicans Against Trumpism (@rpsagainsttrump.bsky.social) 2025-03-14T17:03:44.711Z
I’m also old enough to remember when Republicans honored our veterans: Mark Kelly flew combat missions in the first Gulf War and was an astronaut for fuck’s sake. Who is Elon Musk to call him a traitor? Instead, he should call Kelly this:
Make that Captain Senator Spaceman.
Let’s move to the Supreme Court. The Trump regime has moved to have them hear its fakakata plan to end birthright citizenship. Before the Immunity Impunity decision, I would have called this a no-brainer because of the plain language of the 14th Amendment. Thanks to that lamebrain opinion, it’s a nail-biter. I still think there are 5 votes against this dubious proposition, one of whom is Justice Amy Coney Barrett.
Speaking of Justice Barrett, Slate’s Dahlia Lithwick and Mark Joseph Stern had a lively discussion about her trending moderation.
I have my own theory: Amy Coney Barrett is from the New Orleans metro area; suburban Metry to be precise. People from my area are known for their kindness and courtesy regardless of their political views, call it NOLA nice. It’s hard to imagine Barrett approving of that nasty Jersey boy, Sam the Sham Alito.
In the New Orleans area we try our best to be good neighbors. In contrast, Sam the Sham and his horrible wife stand accused of neighbor intimidation and all around malakatude. Such exuberant nastiness is alien to our culture. It could be one reason for Justice Barrett’s slow drift to the center-right.
Imagine if you will Barrett singing a venerable song to the tetchy Alito. The last word goes to The Beach Boys: