It’s time for the post-shutdown internecine battle to end. It was the longest shutdown in American history, and it had played itself out. 39 Democratic senators held firm after 8 folded. It was predictable: the minority party has never had its demands met in a shutdown showdown.

The public understood that Republicans had all the power and blamed them for the shutdown. It’s time to stop pulling defeat from the jaws of victory and train our fire on Republicans, not other Democrats. The latest Epstein revelation should help us:

Having opened with some shutdown kvetching and gratuitous musical interludes, let’s get down to some vexatious venting about irksome things.

I’m irked that I didn’t think of the trolley problem as an analogy for the shutdown’s end. I am glad, however, that Cassandra did.

I know there’s no trolley in the featured image, but it’s got Snidely Fucking Whiplash and a chick tied to the tracks. Vincente Minelli and Judy Garland supply the trolley:

I’m irked that White House press secretary Karoline Leavitt said that the fakakata ballroom is President Pennywise’s top priority. Does anyone on Team Trump do politics? They’re too busy sucking up to the wannabe king to tell him that everyone hates his fucking ballroom.

I’m irked that Team Trump seems ready to go Noriega on Maduro’s ass. Venezuela is a much bigger country than Panama, so there are likely to be American casualties.

I thought MAGA was against endless wars. The Kaiser of Chaos obviously is not. Is this any way to win a Nobel Peace Prize?

Here’s one of the songs the army played to drive Noriega out of hiding:

Was Eddie Van Halen irked by that? Beats the hell outta me.

In a related matter, I’m irked that the phrase gunboat diplomacy is back. Bombing ships without justifiable cause is illegal, immoral, and idiotic. The Three I’s are also an excellent description of the Insult Comedian.

Just change Willie to Trumpy and Bob’s your uncle or is that Bobby? Beats the hell outta me.

I’m irked that the DOJ is forum shopping in a specious Russia, Russia, Russia investigation of the investigators. Even if the statute of limitations hadn’t expired, Florida is not the proper place for an investigation or trial. They’re going after such Obama administration luminaries as John Brennan as part of Trump’s retribution agenda. I guess they’re hoping that Judge Aileen Cannon will be assigned to the case. She’ll do what she’s told.

Repeat after me: The persecution is the point.

I’m as irked about the Insult Comedian’s pardon spree as Parenthetical. I’m even more irked by the reports of a possible commutation of Ghislaine Maxwell’s sentence. It’s another example of Trump 2.0’s obliviousness to politics. Releasing Maxwell from jail will irk millions of MAGA maggots. They should also be irked by the reports of special treatment given to that sex trafficker including room service, make that cell service. Of course, she’s used to living in the:

Finally, I’m irked that the Clownfish DBA Jeff Landry is trying to run the LSU football program. He first admitted to being involved in firing Coach Brian Kelly, then denied it. I see his hand in the attempt to stiff Kelly on his contract’s buyout provision. I’m not a fan of huge buyouts but this attempt to weasel out of paying could adversely impact LSU’s coaching search. It should be one of the most desirable jobs in college football but who wants a Kingfish wannabe breathing down their necks?

The last word goes to Randy Newman: