The Campaign Of My Dreams

Kos is right. What the fuck, guys? It’s crunch time. It’s personal. And we’re all sitting here wondering where all those wonderful voices who joined our lonely ones a few weeks ago went.

I’m tired of waiting. C’mon, John and John. Run these ads: Pet Goat footage, spliced next to the Twin Towers burning. Bush, saying we’ll win the war on terror, and Bush saying we can’t. I want the coffin photos and the words Bush’s War on my television every time CNN cuts to commercial, and Fox, too. Not just in battleground states. Everywhere. I want it known across the land, so that no single Bush voter can go to the polls and cast that ballot without knowing what a craven administration they support. I want to see Alan Keyes losing his mind. I want to see John Ashcroft singing. I want to see that horrifying hug photo of McCain and Bush superimposed with the words Republicans: Are these loonies the ones you want running your country?

And I don’t care that it’s not fair, I don’t care that it’s not civil, and I don’t care that we’re stooping to their level. What’s been done to this country in the past four years, what’s been done to families across this land, is not fair, it’s not civil, and it’s stooped so low it can see up its own ass.

I want Wesley Clark impugning Bush’s military service on every morning show in the land. I want Terry McAuliffe to shove Zell Miller out of the party in prime time and I want other Dems to shun him in public and possibly throw rotten fruit. I want repeated showings of Bush being unable to pronounce Abu Ghraib, and Lyndie England’s charming photos, on my TV 24-fucking-7.

This little fantasy scenario, by the way, is why I’m not in politics anymore. I realize huge swaths of it seem unrealistic and foolish. But c’mon, is it all that different from what the Republicans have been doing to Kerry for the last few months? Why don’t our people stand up like that? Why are we so cowed?

We are facing people that in the last century of their party’s existence have never been on the right side of anything. They have in the long run lost every single battle: civil rights, abortion, prayer in schools, every single niggling thing they’ve staked their great “values” arguments on. They’ve lost, and lost, and lost.

And instead of taking their ineptitude and crushing them with it, we’ve been allowing them to crush us instead. These are the people we’re afraid will call us names if we say something mean? These are the people we’re allowing to walk away with this?

No more. The day this orgiastic hatefest ends, the day Bonzo Lite goes back to Crawford to rest up from the overwhelming task of reading his lines, I want it to start. We gave you fuck-you money, John, some of us who couldn’t afford it gave you lots of fuck-you money. What are you waiting for?