The Five Stages of Bushery

From Holden:

Your president was asked about his confused position on stem cell research today. Let’s put on our psychologist caps and analyze the five stages of his response.

The Question:

Thank you, sir. With 400,000 frozen embryos in this country unlikely to all get adopted, why do you think that either storing them or even discarding them is better than using them for research?

Stage One: Recognition

She’s asking about a very delicate subject called embryonic stem cell research.

Stage Two: Dishonesty

I have made my position very clear on that issue.

Stage Three: Prevarication

I believe that the use of federal monies that end up destroying life is not — is not positive, is not good. And so, therefore, I’m against the extension of the research of using more federal dollars on new embryonic stem cell lines.

Stage Four: Hoodwinkery

As you know, I made the decision that existing lines should receive federal dollars. And we’ve had about 600 different experiments, maybe 3,000 more to go.

Stage Five: Mendaciousness

And so you asked about frozen embryos — that would entail the destruction of life, and the use of federal dollars to destroy life is something I simply do not support. </p