I apologize in advance for this sexist metaphor

But Marshall Wittmann is starting to sound like that friend we all have who goes around parties saying, “God, I’m so fat. I’m just so fat. Don’t you think I look fat in this? No? Oh, you’re just saying that. Really, I’m a huge land whale. Look at my enormous ass. Look how big it’s getting. God, I can’t believe what a porker I am.”

Now, said friend actually has a nice figure, but her constant self-flagellation over her weight draws attention to the very flaws she’d like to hide.

In other words, STFU, Marshall.

Seriously, has anybody noticed that when Republicans attacked Murtha, it kinda sorta backfired on them like Yosemite Sam’s favorite rifle? And that when Pelosi spoke up the reaction was much more tempered, because Republicans are in a hole on this issue, and they know it?

And that the loudest goddamn voices bashing Democrats for saying we should get out of the mess we created because there’s no earthly way it’s gonna get better if we stay, the loudest voices raised in serious opposition, are OTHER DEMOCRATS?

Does anybody else notice this stuff, or have I finally reached the point where my frustration is starting to make me see funny colors and begin licking the walls?

I mean it. Marshall belongs to the school of Dem who listens to everything his asshole Republican neighbor says about the DumboRats and then apologizes for being such a horrific species of pond scum, and thank you sir, may I have another beating, for I am so loathesome a creature as to deserve any blow you feel me worthy of striking. He belongs to the school of Dem that says the only way to win is to do what the other winners do, even if the other winners are kind of losers now, and nobody likes them anymore, and their shoes aren’t cool this month, and they puked in the bandleader’s tuba after the last football game so to be honest the love affair is really over.

He belongs to the school of Dem that says bashing Dems in public will make Dems look good. And if that doesn’t make any sense to you, well, you’re smarter than Marshall Wittmann. Which I know is setting the bar kind of low, but let’s start there and move up.

A.