Fluffy Bunny News At 11

Oh, my fucking God:

The tension between the press and the government has hypertrophied to the point that neither is acting in the public interest. It is time for these two adversaries to discuss the patterns of behavior creating such rancor and frustration. Both sides must be willing to exchange and recognize legitimate criticism in an open forum. Grievances may not be easily resolved. But discussion in the spirit of inquiry rather than recrimination will initiate a more constuctive relationship.

I almost … I mean, I don’t know where to start with this. Help me out here.

We live in a time of almost unprecedented co-opting of media by government. Of those who are not government tools masquerading as journalists (Karen Ryan, Armstrong Williams) other journalists (and here I use the term to encompass creatures like Tweety and Less Than Large Russ, rather than reporters who keep themselves out of this insane suck-and-fuck cocktail party) say things like “Bush is a popular president” and that they’re “intimidated” by the office, so intimidated that on the eve of war they can’t ask anything other than “Mr. President, what should people do? Should they pray?”

Now, it’s true that the president and his allies hate the press. They hate journalism’s mission, because its idealistic goals of comforting the afflicted and afflicting the comfortable interferes with their goals of looting and pillaging and painting themselves in gold leaf on every wall. That’s not surprising. And it’s not surprising that they’d attack the press, and that those attacks would be vicious.

What is surprising is the idea that this is somehow not the way things should be. Why, Mr. Professor of Journalism, must journalists and government agents play nicely together? You cite studies of public confidence in government and confidence in the press, but nothing that states attitudes about the one have anything to do with attitudes about the other. Both are full of crooks and decent people. There are assholes and insects in every profession and trade. What’s surprising is not how much government and journalism hate each other. What’s surprising is how little they do.

We need a cease-fire, this guy says. Seriously? What exactly have journalists been using as weapons in this terrible and destructive war, pray tell? Marshmallows? Candy-coated fairy food of mass destruction? What towering victories have journalists achieved in exposing the corruption and lies of this administration, and what are the incidences in which they’ve exceeded their brief, that would merit lumping them in with people who want them garrotted and shot? A cease-fire. You’ve got to be kidding me.

I hate to tell our esteemed professor of journalism this, but we don’t need a cease fire. We need a war. We need the kind of war we should have been getting from 9/12/2001 onward up until this afterfuckingnoon. We need answers, goddammit, about what’s happened to our country. A cease fire is pointless if journalism has already surrendered.

And I really don’t care if that doesn’t look nice on television, those rude reporters yelling at our brave preznit. Of course people are going to tell you they want everything to be shiny diamonds and flowers and puppies and of course they’re gonna say they want journalists to get along with the government because then they’ll never have to be disturbed in any way by the information that they’re being used, taken, conned and swindled. After all, if it’s not on the news, it’s not real, right?

For all my journalism school’s faults, members of it did teach me that the proper way to deal with a government official who didn’t like your digging around in his business was to tell him to blow it out his taxpayer funded ass.

Schmuck.

A.