Joe Ruins Tiffany’s Krispy Kreme Show

From Scout:

bush kisses lieberman2

I’ve been watching the Senate Hearings on Katrina with my neighbor Tiffany***. She asked if she could say a few words so if you don’t mind I will turn this post over to my Guest Blogger Tiffany…..

Tiffany: I met scout last year when she came to my door asking who I was going to vote for in the Presidential election. It was my first time to vote and I really didn’t know. But scout explained to me what the Democrats were all about. They want health care for us. They are for the working guy and the middle class. They aren’t in the hip pocket of rich people and corporations. Kerry even went to Vietnam and I don’t think anyone knows where Bush went. They want to see that we have jobs which is important to me since I lost my job at Cost Cutters last month. (That’s why I’ve had time to watch the hearings with scout. I’ve been bored) So I decided the Democrats were for me and I voted for them last year.

But I’m confused now……(***continues after the jump but given some comments I guess I have to say in advance that Tiffany is not a real person but a vehicle of expression for sarcasm)

From Scout:

First we watched a lot of those hearings. And I got to tell you I really thought that Chertoff guy was in for it today since Joe Lieberman seemed pretty pissed at him. He kept saying I’m going to ask Chertoff about that when I see him. He reminded me of my boyfriend Max when we’re at the bar and some guy hits on me and Max just gets in his face and says “Wait til I get you outside asshole.” Anyway I thought we’d see some fireworks today and well Joe didn’t hardly bring up any of it. It reminded me of how the guys that hit on me in front of Max and he calls them on it and they start getting all apologetic and make for the other end of the bar and then Max yells after them “Ya Pussy.” Anyway sorry I talk so much about Max, I miss him since he left for Iraq. But anyway I thought since Joe was a Democrat and he was so mad, he’d call Chertoff on all his crap. I mean the guy screwed up. My friend Chrissy left some hair coloring on too long once and a woman’s hair turned orange and she got fired for that. Well Chertoff ruined a whole city and he still has his job? That’s wrong. And I really thought Joe was going to tell him so. Even the TV news stations were building it up. I even brought Krispy Kremes over today cause I thought this was going to be some show.

Some people think I exaggerate but Joe said he was going to get in Chertoff’s face. If you don’t believe me look at this….

See he said that was Outrageous and by God he was going to ask him about it. And the he never said a word about it today! What gives?

I don’t get it. Scout mentioned Joe had been at some private shindig the President had last night and that got me thinking. One time Max asked this guy to a party that really wasn’t a friend but the guy ran the Jiffy Lube where Max’s best friend, Jim worked. Jim had really screwed up some guys Toyota and was going to get fired. So Max sweet talked the manager guy (and gave him some killer weed—hope it’s ok to say that) and asked him not to fire his boy Jim. And it worked. So I wonder if Bush gave Joe some dope last night to ya know take it easy on his guy Chertoff today. I don’t understand what a Democrat was doing at Bush’s party anyway so ya got to think he was there for something.

Anyway what I’m really wondering is …Are all Democrats like Joe? I mean I don’t know if I want to vote for them again if they’re all like that. Scout said they aren’t but I’m thinking she’s full of shit now because you’d think if Joe wasn’t like them they’d tell him to get the hell out of their party. One time one of Max’s friends weaseled out of helping during a bar fight and after they kicked the other guys’ asses they took him out back and kicked his and said we don’t ever want to see you around again Ya Pussy. Don’t get me wrong Max and his friends are really nice guys but if someone does something wrong they’re going to call you on it, even if it’s a friend. So why don’t the Democrats do that with Joe? I don’t mean take him out back of Congress and kick his ass but you know talk to him. Tell him you’re either with us or against us…so CHOSE. Scout has been trying to explain it…something about the “intricacies of party politics” which sounds like crap. Joe shouldn’t go talking tough for weeks and when the big day comes say nothing and disappoint the Democrats, the TV people, all the people on the Gulf Coast and me with my Krispy Kremes. It’s that simple in my book.

I’m going to be keeping my eye on these Democrats cause I don’t know what to make of them. But I did learn something. When it comes to Joe Lieberman ….. don’t buy your Krispy Kremes until AFTER the ass whooping.

SCOUT: Ah Thank You Tiffany

UPDATE: Ah this post was meant to be sardonic and over the top. It’s not literal. From some comments I guess I missed the mark. Sometime you put stuff out there and take a risk. It works or not or works for some. I’ve learned to be more clear next time.