Today on Holden’s Obsession with the Gaggle

From Holden:

Today’s gaggle was held aboard Air Force One en route to South Bend, Indiana. The gaggle was handled by Little Scottie’s airhead apparent, Dana Perino, who wasted no time establishing her ditzi image.

Q I want to ask you a quick question about the process of reviewing the deal. Apparently there are restrictions that are common in approving transactions of this type that were not put forward in this deal, such as requiring their documents to stay on American soil. Can you explain why those kinds of restrictions weren’t put on this transaction?

MR. PERINO: I’m not familiar particularly with that issue of the documents staying on U.S. soil. I would refer you to the Department of Homeland Security, who last night released the letter of assurances that it had received from the company. I think one of the things I saw in a report this morning about restrictions that were not included in this deal are restrictions that are usually placed on telecom deals that go through the CFIUS process. Obviously, this is not a telecommunications deal. So I’d refer you to the Department of Homeland Security, maybe Assistant Secretary Baker, who could provide more information about those.

That’s right, folks, only telecommunications companies who might, I don’t know, send us a nasty e-mail, are required to keep their documents on US soil. A foreign entity operating six of our most important ports — why bother?

Next up, President Lame Duck is teh popular.

Q Given the Republican complaints about this ports deal, is the President still getting a lot of invites to attend fundraisers like this today?

MS. PERINO: I checked on that this morning. In fact, we are getting daily requests for the President to participate in campaign events. In fact, the supply is not keeping up with demand. You also heard from the President in his press conference on January 26th, in which he said that he wants to be out there campaigning, so I can expect you’ll see him out on the road supporting Republican candidates.

Can I get a, “Yeah, right”, from the congregation?