My new Sirens column is up. I was trying to be silly, since most of the rest of what I’m writing for it is so serious (next month: why everything classified as a woman’s issue is a man’s issue too, and why the whole ghettoizing of issues as the purview of one gender or another pisses me off):

In the next month, I went through all the stages of a classic breakup:

Denial. Maybe there was widespread fraud in Ohio! Maybe absentee ballots would save us!

Overindulgence/Emotion-Fueled Gluttony. I drank an entire bottle of chardonnay and cried for three hours.

Obsessing On His Weak Points. Jerk never did want gay people to get married as much as I did. His hair was stupid.

Listening To Avril Lavigne. So much for my happy ending, indeed.

Defending Him To Friends Who Were Trying To Convince Me He Wasn’t Worth It. You just don’t understand him the way that I do! He’s different with me!

Finding A Rebound Guy. Senator Harry Reid of Nevada is awesome! In Harry we trust! Thank God for Harry, America, and the Democrats!

Utter And Complete Depression. I am never, ever, ever falling for a politician again as long as I live.