Pink Shirts

I know, I know, it’s the Wall Street Journal, I shouldn’t take it seriously. But it’s theWall Street Journal, I need to be able to take it seriously, and the fact that I can’t is aproblem:


In an administration that prides itself on viewing the world in black and white, White House press secretary Tony Snow is injecting a lot of color.

Five months into the job, the former Fox News pundit is using his wardrobe to communicate that he’s not the stereotypical press secretary.


[snip]


Mr. Snow mixes things up, with colors that often seem to reflect the administration’s mood. Discussing Syria recently, he wore a serious white shirt and maroon tie. When the president gave an upbeat press conference in the Rose Garden after a surprise visit to Iraq, Mr. Snow wore a cheery pink shirt and light blue tie.

Mr. Snow declined to comment. His arrival comes as the White House is planning to spruce up its dingy briefing room, possibly installing a video wall.


Holy SHIT. A video wall. That is so gonna roxxorz.

Honest toChrist, people. You know, I don’t object to fashion stories. I watch Project Runway like something bad will happen if I don’t get my weekly dose of Tim Gunn. I read Go Fug Yourself and some terribly misguided person got us a subscription to Women’s Wear Daily’s Scoop, which is basically nothing but people trying to convince me that Sienna Miller and Chloe Sevigny are well-dressed, so don’t tell me this is about my hostility to fashion stories.


This is about my hostility to treating people in positions of real power, people who by any objective assessment are doing actual harm to this country, like they’re of about as much consequence as Sienna Miller. (Seriously, why is this girl in my face all the time? She’s not any cuter than ten girls I know, screwing Jude Law is not in and of itself an accomplishment, and I don’t care what WWD says, she dresses like a day shift showgirl on acid.) This is about my hostility to getting cute with serious people, such that cute becomes all we expect, and then we have another election season where it’s all about who wore a sweater instead of who knows how to run the country.

I mean, okay, if Pony Blow showed up for a Syria press conference in a Vivienne Westwood or, worse, a Jeffrey Sebelia concoction with a rainbow wig on his head and an antique cigarette holder dangling from his left hand, I could see doing a fashion piece. But … he wears a pink shirt, so let’s divine some deeper meaning from that? A video wall? If they installed a swim-up bar, maybe that’d be worth a story, but this is like the DC journalism equivalent of doing a story about potholes because your editor’s wife hit one on the way to the grocery store that day. Twenty-four hour cable news networks at least have the excuse of having time to fill, and time’s free, but newsprint’s expensive. Come on. Between this and the Katie Couric/Condi Rice interview, I’m left admiring the hard-hitting tactics of Wolf Blitzer, and man has it been a long time since I’ve taken a ride on that train.


Ray, what did you want to be when you grew up? Did you want to be the guy who wrote about the shirt colors of a guy the Internet nicknamed Pony Blow? Because that’s who you are today, dude. Drink it in.


A.

8 thoughts on “Pink Shirts

  1. With apologies to Pete Townsend for the changed chorus. (but not the bolded lines… original lyrics!)
    Pink Shirts:
    I was just thirty-four years old and I was still wandering in a haze
    I was wondering why everyone I met seemed like they were
    Lost in a maze
    I don’t know why I thought I should have some kind of
    Divine right to the blues
    It’s sympathy not tears people need when they’re the
    Front page sad news.
    The incense burned away and the stench began to rise
    And lovers now estranged avoided catching each others’ eyes
    And girls who lost their children cursed the men who fit the coil
    And men not fit for marriage took their refuge in the oil

    No one respects the flame quite like the fool who’s badly burned
    From all this you’d imagine that there must be something learned
    Pink shirts, Tony always wears those pink shirts
    I don’t ever wear no ripped shirts
    Can’t pretend that growing older never hurts.
    Knee pants, Georgie never wears no knee pants
    Have to be so drunk to try a new stance
    So afraid of every new foe’s plans
    Pink shirts, Georgie never wears those pink shirts…

  2. I don’t see anything wrong with treating Tony Snow as an inconsequential airhead, actually…
    As for the “video wall”, it’s probably a more efficient and flexible way to display the Talking Points Du Jour, or even Du Minuit.
    (“STAY THE COURSE”, “WE TOTALLY HEART THE TROOPS”, “WE’RE MUCH MORE COURAGEOUS THAN THE DEMOCRATS”, “MISSION ALMOST ACCOMPLISHED, WE REALLY MEAN IT THIS TIME”)

  3. Pink Oxford shirts are a Southern thing. Don’t ask me why.
    (Says Lex, who owns one and sometimes wears it to work.)

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