Your President Speaks!

Chimpy was inDes Moines, Iowa, yesterday campaigning for Republikkkan congressional candidateJeff Lamberti.

Dave’s Not Here, Man

No doubt in my mind, with your help, Dave [sic] Lamberti will be the next United States congressman.

Dave [sic] and I believe a lot of things. We believe that you ought to keep more of your own money. We believe in family values. We believe values are important. And we believe marriage is a fundamental institution of civilization.

Put Just Of Your Money In The Hat

I appreciate you giving — helping fill the hat. But I also want to encourage you to make sure you do more than contribute just of your money. I ask you to contribute of your time and your efforts.

Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three.

We believe — the congressman-to-be and I believe — the Senator, congressman-to-be and two Congressmen and I believe that we think you can spend your money far better than the federal government can spend your money.

The Befuddled War President

You know, when I campaigned here in 2000, I said, I want to be a war President. No President wants to be a war President, but I am one.

Delirium Tremens

The best way to secure the peace for the United States, the best way to do — the most important job of the federal government is to support the troops, to support the young democracy, and defeat the enemy in Iraq — and what we’ll do.

It’s Got A Lesson

One of my favorite stories to share is the story that happened here a couple of weeks ago — or weeks ago — when I went to Elvis’s place in Memphis with then-sitting Prime Minister Koizumi of Japan. The reason I like to share that story is because it’s got a good lesson for our citizens, particularly younger citizens who may not have really studied that period of history too much, the history of Japan-U.S. relations.

Fighting the Moderates

We talked about the fact that Japan had a thousand troops in Iraq to help that young democracy fight off the extremists and moderates — to help the moderates fight off the extremists.

Talk the Peace

Isn’t it interesting that the son of a man who fought the Japanese is able to talk the peace with the Prime Minister of a former enemy.

15 thoughts on “Your President Speaks!

  1. I’m speechless–but he should be. Such a buffoon. I’m sure “Dave” is sooo happy for the support.
    Thorlac

  2. “story that happened here a couple of weeks ago — or weeks ago — when I went to Elvis’s place in Memphis ”
    Since when is Memphis, TN in Des Moines Iowa?
    “when I campaigned here in 2000, I said, I want to be a war President. ”
    So he’s finally admitting that he wanted to be a war president before 9/11

  3. Everyone in the room has to realize he’s an idiot. What a depraved charade this is.

  4. I want to be a war President.
    No President wants to be a war President.
    Therefore, I am not President.
    Hey, I’ve got something like 15 college credits specifically in logic. I know a valid syllogism when I see one.

  5. Damn, forgot to sign in after rebooting. I’ve got the logic credits, from the great University of Wisconsin.

  6. “Since when is Memphis, TN in Des Moines Iowa?”
    When he says “here” he means “somewhere” – I find that it’s a lot easier to read his speeches if I pretend that it’s one of those “how many characters can we drop out without losing the meaning of the sentence” tests that just went too far, mixed with the feed from his earpiece.

  7. WTF? Japan has been at peace with the United States for over 60 years. So why is it “interesting” that he can talk peace with the PM of “a former enemy”? Reminds me of “The Germans” episode of Fawlty Towers, when Basil reminds everyone to “not mention the war”.
    Heck, Japan hasn’t been involved in a war since WWII–except when it helped Bush wage war in the Middle East.
    Bush is such an embarassment.

  8. Put Just Of Your Money In The Hat
    I appreciate you giving — helping fill the hat. But I also want to encourage you to make sure you do more than contribute just of your money. I ask you to contribute of your time and your efforts” and your immortal sole.

  9. Putting “Put Just Of Your Money In The Hat” and “Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three.” together, he said give us money, but the government can’t be trusted with the money; since your talking about 2 members of the government and one wannabe, he totally cotradicted himself: Give us your money, because we can’t be trusted with it.

  10. How do the handlers dare to let him loose? Do they cringe, or are they so inured to his I-can’t-say-anything-that-makes-sense extemporaneous outbursts, that they don’t even notice?
    Well, I hope that “Dave” appreciates the effort.

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