Guest blogging


Do not be alarmed!

In case you missed her Meta post below, Athenae (in a possible lapse of judgment) has asked me to guestblog in her absence this week.

Rest assured, I’m all about the “going along to get along” and I don’t want any trouble. I’m clean and well-mannered and I’ll try to pick up after myself while here.

FYI, and keep this on the d-low, it’s very different, to say the least, here “on the other side,” than you might think. Nobody answered when I knocked, and the door was unlocked, so I let myself in. Judging from the noise and disarray, a party appears to have been in progress for days, possibly weeks. Looking for the can, I stumbled into a bedroom — you can imagine my surprise when I saw Teddy doing a bump of Bolivian marching powder off the ass of, my hand to God, one of Olsen twins! Before I could collect my thoughts, they both dashed out of the room. I ran after them, but not fast enough. Before I could reach the door, I heard a car slam into gear and the sound of squealing tires.

Continuing my search for the can, I opened the door into yet another darkened room. It was damp and cold inside, with just enough light to make out dozens and dozens of small objects. Waiting for my eyes to adjust to the gloom, I heard water dripping, and I could swear I heard a soft wheeze. I began to make out a wild array of bright colors and shiny beading on the many little creatures lining the walls and crowding the horizontal surfaces. At first I thought they were dolls, but then I realized they were… ponies!Hundreds of them, hidden here in the half-light, their sequins and tangled manes glittering in the shadows, despite the encroachment of cobwebs and dust.

I turned when something, or someone, stirred behind me. I made out a silhouette of a man kneeling in the corner, heard the sound of a towel dipped in water and wrung out, saw a flash of light on a bald, dripping head. He started muttering, something about the smell of dead flowers…I think he asked me if I was a soldier? I was suddenly frightened and backed out, closing the door behind me.

So, I’ll come up with a real post after I find that damned bathroom.

Oh, and another thing. The ferrets? Now I’m no expert, but they really don’t look the same in person.

9 thoughts on “Guest blogging

  1. The bald guy’s easy to handle: just tell him you’re actually a comfortador. Keep a weather eye out for giant snakes though. And you’re on your own with the ferrets.

  2. OH NOOO! CNN and Rita Crosby will be staking us out trying to get pics of Teddy and an Olsen and Teddy will looove it the little ham.
    Lots of LOLLLL from that virgotex! Welcome to the crazy house
    PS there is no bathroom…we go to the Shell station down on the corner

  3. thnx for the ‘heads’ up, Scout. I went out in the back yard (are you aware it’s full of jimson weed?), but I’ll remember for next time.
    Have you discussed rehab with that cat, or are you enabling?

  4. Please accept my apologies. I thought I was in First Draft. Now, you all just calm down and take those pills. And, keep those animals away from the door, as I’m just going to slowly back out…

  5. Um, those ARE NOT ferrets, they are capabaras or something like that, south american critters.

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