I need some funny. Via metaquotes, we have Note To Cat:
I love you.
I love the fact that I’m working at home and get to hang with you all day.
I love the fact you are so happy about it.
However, mommy is a phone sex operator.
The nice men that call mummy are calling to be entertained by me.
Not by your frolicking, singing, or ability to open loud squeaky doors while yowling.
You are lucky the few who have heard you have thought it was funny.
For crying out loud, shush!!