The ME, ME, ME Person:
“Oh, well, you still have me.” Wow! I didn’t realize my husband leaving made this all about you. How lucky I am to still have you! The thing is, there truly are few people I like more than my husband, and simply put, you are not one of them.
“Well, you knew he was in the Military and that this could happen.” Yep, sure did and you also know that your husband has a penis, so should he ever decide to put it inside another woman, please allow me to remind you of this fact. Same thing, don’t you think? After all, you knew he had said penis when you married him? (okay so that is mean, but I REALLY hate this statement.)
Misery Loves Company Person:
These are the other people who say nothing, barely registering what I have just said when they’ve asked how I’m doing. These people truly suck it because they seem to think that the best way to get my mind off of my husband leaving is to tell me about all the HORRIBLE problems they are having in their lives. Either that or they just don’t give a rip. Yes, I can see how tragic it was that your crock pot burnt out during its cook cycle. No, I really have no idea if the chicken was still good enough to eat. Oh, you ate it anyway? Little Timmy got the shits? And the dog too, huh? And it almost ruined the vacation plans you had with your husband? Hey listen, I have to go before I rip off your fucking head and use it to plug up Timmy’s ass…
If I had a dollar for every time I have been invited to bible study to help me cope, I would have $27.00 after tithe. I am a spiritual person, but reading the bible is not going to help me understand why my DH is being sent away to invest in a seemingly senseless war. Instead of inviting me to a bible study, invite me to the white house. But then again, I won’t get any answers there either…