Stupid Republican Tricks

In Explanation, A Script For Conversation With Wingnuts About Spitzer

Republican acquaintance: You haven’t posted anything about theSpitzer story, have you?

You: No.

RA: Why not?

You: It doesn’t interest me all that much.

RA: I bet if he was a Republican you’d be interested.

You: Absolutely. You know why?

RA: Because you’re a liberal?

You: Because if he was a Republican, he’d have been caught on video with FOUR hookers doing blow off copies of classifed CIA documents about Iran while wearing only a wet suit and one nipple clamp, with a dildo shaped like Fran Drescher stuck in his ass and the stereo blaring the collected works of Sun Myung Moon in the background while he screamed “You’re not my mommy!!!!” THAT’S why I’d be interested.

A.

11 thoughts on “In Explanation, A Script For Conversation With Wingnuts About Spitzer”

  1. Oh A, you forgot that they’d all be male hookers. ::snort::
    I actually heard Tweety today say something to the effect of “I’m not doing policy, let’s get back to the horse race.”
    Joy.

  2. Do you think the MSM would be giving it as much attention if another big state, say California, had a Republican governor who, instead of prostitutes, had done something equally as repulsive, say being a serial harasser and molester of women? They’d have to give it as much attention, wouldn’t they? It would be just as big a story…and they’d… they’d…
    …Ooohh, right.
    Never mind.

  4. Because if he was a Republican, he’d have been caught on video with FOUR hookers doing blow …
    no.
    he would have been DOING that.
    but he wouldn’t have been caught. not by the feds, anyway.

  7. Not only would he not have resigned by now if he was a Republican, but the story would be buried on A-12, he would have made a statement about how God and his wife had forgiven him and it was nobody else’s business, and the press would then declare the matter none of our business.
    I nearly spit blood the other day when the New York Times editorial said that there were even graver crimes involved — than having sex with prostitutes, I mean — there could be violations of the Mann Act! Gasp! Shudder!
    Damn, if there had been one quarter, no, one eighth of this journalistic attention given to the supposed reasons for our invasion of Iraq, we wouldn’t be on the verge of marking our fifth anniversary in the war that won’t end. Hell, if there had been even an eighth of this journalistic coverage given to the massive worldwide protests against the war before the war started, it might not have happened.

  8. Payback for the “sheriff of Wall Street,” courtesy of the worst president evah, makes for a fine distraction from a plummeting economy. Oil prices exceeding $100 as a psychological threshold was nothing. Wait until the Euro hits two dollars. They’ll have to find a Democrat screwing pigs.

  9. No, no…don’t hold back. C’mon, tell us what youreally think. We’ll still respect you in the morning.

  10. I think there’s an untapped market niche out there that you could corner. Fran Drescher dildos? It’s a gold mine, I tells ya.

  11. I still want to know:
    (1) Who are clients 1 – 8?
    (2) Why weren’t their names leaked?
    (3) Who leaked Spitzer’s name?

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