Okay, I was not angry since I came to France, motherfuckers.

After the 2004 election there was the usual amount of “See, I TOLD YOU SO” from supporters of every other candidate on the planet and Kerry should have done this, Kerry should have done that, and I did as much post-mortem thinking as anybody else, I’m not excusing myself, but let’s walk this through for a second. Whatever Kerry should have done or did do or didn’t do four years ago, whatever Barack Obama should have done or did do or didn’t do today, what these so-called Swift Boat assholes (and thanks, by the way, fuckers, for taking an entire mode of military transportation and making it into an insult on par with “bestial pervert,” thanks so much there) did and are doing is the Original Not Okay, and I’m gonna be a hardass about this right now.

Let’s not forget, let’s not for one second ignore, that the point at which this equation starts to go off the rails is the point at which a bunch of ex-Nixon henchmen crawled out of the slime and, with their repentent-liberal allies in the daddy-don’t-hit-me-I’ll-be-good wing of the Demoratic party, began once again peddling their bullshit to the American people on TV every night. Their bullshit that the reason your life sucks is because we fucked up Vietnam, that we fucked up Vietnam because of all those hippies back here at home, that nobody would ever have to shoot or beat or fire-hose anybody into submission if only those stupid lefties knew their place, and by the way, now they want to take your Bible away. They broke our society, the hippies and the chicks and the blacks, too, they “went too far,” and here’s John Kerry, their leader, who deserves to go down for it all. And just like every hippie, he’s a liar and a traitor and he sucks.

It’s the story of the last 40 years, pushback and backlash, every time we get close to something decent here they come again, with the same old story: It’s this guy’s fault, not ours. And there’s always five or six dozen fucking people willing to take up the position that if only we were quieter, if only we sat down nicely, if only we wore ties to the protests, then they wouldn’t HAVE to be such bullies. If we’d just keep it down with our kumbaya, guys, they’d put their clubs away and leave us alone! It’s so much easier to look at your friends and give them well-meaning advice than it is to look at your enemies and give them exactly what they deserve, and good and hard while you’re at it.

So you know, Kerry should have pushed back harder against these fucks. And Obama shouldn’t have played down what Clark said. They both should have greeted these nasty creatures with endless repetitions of the words “Richard” and “Nixon’s” and “bitch” over and over and over until somebody started asking you know, whence exactly cometh these unholy throwbacks and why are they still so pissed off at the hippies, anyway? There’s a million ways Kerry and Obama should have handled all this differently. I’m right there with you in thinking it and I’d never tell you not to say it. Hell, I’ll be saying it myself several times in the next few days, at ever-increasing volume.

I will say this, though, first. Before I start bitching out Obama again, or Clark or any of the various Democrats at present flailing around trying to figure out something that has been evident to the liberal blogosphere for half a decade. Never for a second should our candidates’ mistakes and missteps excuse what is being done to them in the name of hate and division. Never. That’s on their accusers, that’s on those Nixon henchmen. That’s on them, and I don’t care what Kerry and Obama did or didn’t do. That’s on them.

A.