… and you, ma’am, are no Marge Gunderson

It started at the exact same time as the Tina Fey comparison, the minute the candidate opened her mouth, and it continues. And sure, it’s funny. More importantly, it’s easy.

And it chaps my ass.

Yeah, I’m pissed because of the comparison of Sarah Palin to a fictional character.Marge Gunderson has been libeled, goddamnit. 

Don’t tell me Marge isn’t real. We all know Marge. Well, at least, we knowa Marge. She’s your neighbor, or your kid’s soccer coach, or your favorite aunt. She’s marooned in middle management at your job, the only there who knows anything. She’s those extraordinary, yet startling ordinary, women who are so good and clear and so sharp and strong that it makes you stop and think, “What if?” What if they went to grad school, or med school, or didn’t marry that loser at the plant, or didn’t have four kids, or gave up that horse farm or somehow got a million bucks. What if they got a few breaks thrown their way, what could they do with all that strength and clarity and intelligence? Imagine it… they could be anything. Governor, or maybe even…

No.

Well maybe, but probably not. It’s not that they aren’t capable, it’s that they just don’t roll that way, the compromises alone would either break them or send them packing. The flimsy shield of moral relativism is not something they’d feel comfortable hiding behind, much less exploiting. And not because they’re unsophisticated or non-analytical or absolutist.

Marge was so principled and comfortable in her skin and her place in the world that she truly couldn’t fathom why the bumbling idiot bad guys would do such a thing. Ruin lives, kill people, all for a little bit of money. She felt sorry for them that they couldn’t see the possibilities evident everywhere, that they just didn’t know that it was really was a beautiful day there in Brainerd.

Of all the things that Marge Gunderson was not, and Sarah Palin is, she was not cynical. And she was not stupid. And if she was here, she wouldn’t vote for McCain/Palin even though she might be a Republican.

Neither will our real-life Marges. I know mine isn’t.

Because they can see when they’re being played, and they are disdainful at just how sloppy those doing the playing really are. Those people are sloppy because they can be. Because it’s easy, what they’re doing. Palin, and Grandpa and fucking Carly fucking Fiorino, and the rest of operatives scurrying about in the rumbling bowels of the McCain bunker really are not counting on the Marges. They’re counting on the people who are willing to buy a Marge decoy, a cheap knock-off.The people whose expectations are so lowered that they are willing to accept just a reminder of the real deal.

Tell us about the Marges in your life.

6 thoughts on “… and you, ma’am, are no Marge Gunderson

  1. As someone from The People’s Republic Of The Upper Midwest, Sarah Palin does not sound like a northern Minnesotan. She sounds like Sarah Palin. My female Alaskan friends don’t sound like her, either.

  2. Having heard Palin use Gunderson’s “You betcha” in the debate with Biden, I wonder if Palin had, in fact, seen the movie “Fargo” and intentionally copied the mannerisms of Marge in a phony attempt at being folksy.

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