Obama Fantasy Cabinet

Go.

Mine below the cut.

Like the Superfriends, but more nerdy and with better outfits:

Secretary of Defense: Wesley Clark (I know, way to go out on a limb, right?)

Secretary of the Interior: Al Gore

Secretary of State: JOHN F. “SCREW IT NOW I’M TALKING” KERRY, BITCHES

Attorney General: FITZMAS!!! Failing that, Chris Dodd

Secretary of Housing and Urban Development: Dennis Kucinich

Secretary of the Rally Monkey: Chris Dodd

Secretary of Let’s Deal With Fucking Poverty Already: John “Yes, I Know, Whatever, Shut Up” Edwards

Secretary of Energy: Al Gore (he can multitask)

Secretary of Education: Jonathan Kozol/Alex Kotlowitz

Too many white dudes, and severely unimaginative, I know. Somewhere in here I also want Hillary & Kathleen Sebelius in whatever jobs they’d like best. Secretary of Whatever You Want To Do Because You’ll Kick Ass At It. We can shuffle stuff around.

A.

20 thoughts on “Obama Fantasy Cabinet

  1. I hope he doesn’t eviscerate the Senate in building a cabinet. If he does pick a Senator, that person had better be from a state with a Democratic governor.
    My money is on a cabinet of whom we know very little, because they won’t be Washington DC based politicians.

  2. I think Hillary could be a great Sec’y of State, and Kerry’s leadership role for the future is in the Senate. I say this as a proud Kerry voter. I want him ~there~.

  3. Secretary of Defense = Hillary Clinton (endorsed by John McCain)
    Secretary of State = Dick Lugar (make diplomacy a Republican thang)
    Secretary of You Had Me at Hello = Kathleen Sebelius
    Attorney General = James Comey (knows where the bodies are buried)
    FBI Director = Patrick Fitzgerald (too good as USA to be AG, it’s like Michael Jordan being a coach)
    Ambassador to the Arctic = Joe Lieberman
    Kam Fong = Chin Ho

  4. Secretary of Defense: Chuck Hegel
    Secretary of Energy: Al Gore
    Secretary of State: William Jefferson Clinton
    Attorney General: Hillary Rodham Clinton
    Secretary of Housing and Urban Development: Dennis Kucinich
    Secretary of Labor: Russ Feingold
    Secretary of Energy: T. Boone Pickens
    Secretary of Commerce: Howard Dean
    Secretary of the Treasury: Paul Krugman
    That should do for a start.

  5. All are superb choices, although I also wonder if Obama would risk losing effective and senior Democratic Senators.
    On more or less the same subject, I figured Hillary Clinton probably prefers being Senator from New York than VP. Oh sure, there’s the symbolism, but Clinton just seems like someone who’d rather be in the trenches than on the sidelines. To use a football analogy (apologies)…VP is like second-string quarterback. Unless there’s a tragedy, you carry the clipboard and run the clock out.

  6. Thing is, if Obama wins he really -does- have to offer Hillary a promotion, and that’s a hard thing to do for a sitting Senator. I don’t thing AG is a step up.
    Sec of State, Sec of Defense, yes. Supreme Court justice, yes.
    Also, Sec Interior – Al Gore

  7. Excellent cabinet, A.
    I have no quibbles.
    OK, one. I think some sensible Republicans in the Cabinet would be good politics.
    I wish I could think of any. Hagel for SOD?
    Wouldn’t mind Lugar, either.
    Best and most logical pick of all is Fitz for AG. Who is going to argue with that?
    All right, never mind. Still. Time to give the base a good stiffy up the butt.

  8. A, I’m shocked that you have to be corrected on this but Wes Clark cannot be SecDef – it’s has to be a civilian – no career military.

  9. Uh, Blue, are you expressing an opinion? Because General George Marshall was Secretary Of Defense when Truman pressed him into returning to guvmint during the Korean War so it *can* be done. Clark’s liability is that he’s not very popular with his fellow brass. He was one of the few commanders ever to be forced into retirement after winning a war.
    I’ve heard a lot of talk about Kerry wanting to be Secretary of State. Obama is certainly secure enough to have a strong cabinet.

  10. What Adrastos said about Marshall is true and was a post-WWII exception. The rule is 10 years out of active duty to be SecDef, not “no career military”. Clark retired in 2000.
    Calling people out for their fantasy cabinet picks is uncool and heavy.

  11. This is an interesting question.
    I want to think about people who can actual solve problems. Here are a few suggestions for lots of jobs. It’s interesting. I was just thinking about this and I realized that I too have a limited view of who else besides old white guys.
    Head of SEC: Elliot Spitzer
    Energy: Gore
    Trade: Dennis Kucinich
    AG: Edwards
    Dept. of Blogging Athenae
    Sec of Socialized Medicine: Hillary Clinton
    Sec of Defense: John McCain. Tell him he needs to cut the budget by 25 percent.
    or
    William Ayers. Hey, at least he knows where the building is!
    Housing: Jimmy Carter
    Homeland Security: Richard Clarke
    Senate Chaplin: Rev. Wright
    Hollywood liaison: Susan Sarandon
    Communications office: Janeane Garofalo
    FCC head: Tim Robbins

  12. Sec State: John Kerry or Bill Richardson
    Sec Treas: Paul Krugman
    Sec Def: Chuck Hagel
    Att Gen: Fitz (for the sheer sexy)but I’d also like Laurence Tribe or Cass Sunstein
    Chairman of the Fed: Paul Voelker
    Chairman of the SEC or Sec Commerce: Nouriel Roubini
    Sec Labor: Robert Reich
    Sec HUD: John Edwards
    Sec Health/Human Services: David Cutler or David Blumenthal
    Sec Veterans Affairs: Wesley Clark
    Fergawdsake, keep Howard Dean at the DNC–let him build the holy heck out of that organization!

  13. DON’T YOU DARE TAKE FITZGERALD! We need him to finish cleaning out the scum in Chicago. He just got Jon Burge in the hot seat after 20 years, I’ll be livid if anyone takes him off the case.
    Also, for anyone thinking Chicago schools CEO Arne Duncan should be secretary of Education:
    http://pureparents.org/index.php?blog/show/468

  14. Hillary in Health; maybe she can get it right this time.
    Wes Clark at State until the 10 years are up then move him to Defense.
    Edwards at AG; failing that, an experienced litigator for the ACLU or the Freedom from Religion Foundation.
    Krugman at Treasury? That’s both hilarious and ingenious.
    I doubt Gore would take Interior or Energy, but he’d be great for either. Otherwise I’d put a Native American in charge of Interior.
    No Republicans, no Blue Dogs, no foolishness like that, though if you *really* had to have one, Tommy Thompson would be pretty good for Transportation—he’s a big fan of mass transit and rail.

  15. p.s. So who are the WonderTwins? “Wondertwin powers, ACTIVATE! Form of…an iceberg!” (Hey, it’d be nice for Zan to actually be something useful for a change)
    “Form of…a giant donkey!”
    God, I’m such a geek.

  16. Aaaargh: please. please, no Tommy Thompson. No “stick it to ’em”, “thank goodness we’re putting a factory on this useless farmland”, “you people are so good with money”, “I just hosted John McCain now I’m going to rip him to shreds in the media” Tommy Thompson. I couldn’t stand it. It would sully things.

  17. I love the idea of Hillary on the supreme court. Man, that would not only be sweet from a stick it to em standpoint, I actually think Hillary’s talents match the job really well (and I was no Hillary supporter).
    I don’t like Wes Clark for Sec of defense at all – civilian governance of the military is I think key, maybe someone like Sam Nun.
    Where I really like Wes Clark – take over the DHS. The guy is quick on his feet, well trained in logistics, knows how to responsibly delegate multiple duties, can deal with multiple agencies (he was head of the NATO operation right?) To me this will be one of the most important jobs in the country, and Wes clark seems to me to be a perfect fit.

  18. Looking at this is fun, but Obama doesn’t want to lose the Lugers and Hagels in the Senate in his reach for bipartisanship. Gore (and Bill Clinton for that matter) won’t be a cabinet secretary. And the best way to promote Hillary is to support her for Senate Majority Leader. Reid is almost too much of a partisan fire-breather. But McCain as Secretary of Defense is extremely fascinating. Wesley Clark, though not imaginative, is also an excellent choice and it would be a shame not to bring Powell into this administration in some capacity. Richardson at Interior I beleive would be great. Although I love Krugman, he may be better suited as a Senior Economic Advisor instead of Treasury. Putting Kerry in many posts would be great, but Edwards may be too politically poisonous at this point to consider for HUD or AG, although I believe he would do well either way. Thanks for reading.

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