How the fuck was I supposed to know I’d be such a dumbshit?
“I may be incompetent but I’m hung like an elephant.”
mommee says i’m awesome, so STFU.
You fucked up. You trusted me.
“You want a piece of me? Check out what happened to the guy who threw a shoe at me. He’s still picking teeth out of his mouth.”
Suuwwwaaannneee, How I love ya, How I love ya,
My dear old Suwanee.
Look, I wish my mouth was this big. The country’s got a hard-on for me and Ilove to suck.
“So, which one of y’all bald haided hunks is gonna put yer weiner in ma waitin’ mouth? Ah ain’t got all day…c’mon!”
(crass but what he’s um, “thinking”)
“I don’t tell little bitty lies. . .I tell WHOPPERS!!!”
“What thuh hell wuz Ah talkin’ about just now?!!”
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