Got Your Pitchforks And Torches Ready?


Really, at this point, is there anything else that will get the message across?

I don’t know if you’ve heard, but Associated Bank here in Wisconsin has been making headlines lately. And not in a good way.

It seems that Associated Bank went to the government and got some of that sweet, sweet TARP smack. Somewhere around $525 million. Yeah. Half a billion dollars of our money went to this bank.

And what did they decide to do?

Throw a party, of course!

Actually, the trip in question had been planned for some time. It was a getaway for 100 people to an exclusive resort in Puerto Rico. Now, I’m happy that some employees (it wasn’t all just executive pricks who were going to go) get rewarded for good performance. But come on. If you go begging for my money, don’t turn around and take a fucking resort vacation the next month. Don’t these cocksuckers understand anything? It’s called a social contract, asshole. When I loan you emergency money, I expect you to use it for fucking emergencies. While I could be wrong, I don’t think anyone has ever had to take an emergency luxury vacation.

When the bank CEO was called out for this, what was his response?

Somehow, he mustered an approximation of righteous indignation.

I’m not kidding.

“Should we ask you or anybody else each individual thing we do to see if it’s
politically correct?” he asked. What he cares about, he said, is the opinion of
his employees, and they overwhelmingly support the Puerto Rico trip: “I think
it’s coming across very positively.”

Seeing as how his employees leaked the story to the press, I don’t think he’s exactly right about that last part, either. See alsothis.

Now for a personal anecdote. Years ago, in the service, another guy came up and asked me if he could borrow a few hundred bucks. I told him that he got paid on the first of the month, same as me. He was pretty insistent, though, and I finally loaned him $250. I told him to have it back to me as soon as he could. Well, the next time I saw him (two days later), he said, “Hey, man, wanna see my new tattoo?”

*blink*

*blink*

So I said “Sure!” And he gingerly rolled up his sleeve to show me–and I swear I am not making this up–a cattle skull tattoo on his upper arm. In color, of course. I looked really close. Because, you know, I’d never just taken $250 out of my wallet and lit it on fire before. So, after examining this tattoo closely, I leaned back and punched him in the arm as hard as I possibly could.

And this was a good hit. I mean textbook. Punched right through his arm, had a good follow through, and got that good hurt you get in your hand when you land a solid, solid punch.

Now this prick’s rolling around on the ground screaming, and I’m standing over him doing the same. I told that dumbass that I wanted all my motherfucking money as soon as payday rolled around, and if he ever came to me looking for cash again, I’d knock a few teeth out of his goddamn head.

As he never requested a loan again, I think I got my point across.

What’s that? You’re surprised I had a point? Yeah, me too.

But the point is this: If you come to me in desperate need of cash, and you get it, you don’t goddamn jolly well go and spend it on frivolities. You buy groceries. You pay the heat. You shore up your goddamn financial institution. And if you do blow it on something stupid, don’t get all in high fucking dudgeon when you get called out for it. Asshole.

Associated Bank has ended up cancelling the trip. So that’s something. However, the CEO, Paul Biedeman, made two million bucks last year.

Let me say that again.

This dipshit made two million dollars last year. So, if he really, really wanted to reward these 100 employees, he could pay for the fucking trip himself with no problem. And, really, wouldn’t that be a much better expression of appreciation from the boss?

I hope somebody punches him in the arm. Hard.

10 thoughts on “Got Your Pitchforks And Torches Ready?

  1. BuggyQ says:

    This is it. This is what is pissing me off about this whole situation. The cluelessness. They really don’t understand why we’re so fucking pissed off. They’re baffled by it. I think the bankers would be well-served by committing this quote to memory:
    “It is well enough that people of the nation do not understand our banking and monetary system, for if they did, I believe there would be a revolution before tomorrow morning.” –Henry Ford
    They may not understand what’s going on, but we’re beginning to…

    Like

  2. Elspeth R says:

    So, after examining this tattoo closely, I leaned back and punched him in the arm as hard as I possibly could.
    “And this was a good hit. I mean textbook. Punched right through his arm, had a good follow through, and got that good hurt you get in your hand when you land a solid, solid punch.
    Now this prick’s rolling around on the ground screaming, and I’m standing over him doing the same. I told that dumbass that I wanted all my motherfucking money as soon as payday rolled around, and if he ever came to me looking for cash again, I’d knock a few teeth out of his goddamn head.”
    OMFG – I think I am in love – or at least know you have a friend in me forever!!! You are the awesomest!!! That was brilliant!
    Cheers – Elspeth

    Like

  3. Interrobang says:

    Yeah. This.
    Back when I was young and stupid, I got put on the hook for one fifth of $750 by the asshole father of an ex-housemate of mine, who couldn’t or wouldn’t believe that his pwecious dawwing son could have refused to pay the gas bill for months on end, preferring instead to blow his money on pot, booze, and whatever else. If I’d been the person then that I am now, I would have said, “I didn’t rack up those bills.Your son blew all his money on pot and booze and condoms. We all paid our share, but we had to have our gas cut off becausehe couldn’t be bothered to pay his bills. Take it up with him, and get stuffed.”
    Unfortunately, one of the sad truths of the world is that there almost always are responsible people who will clean up the messes of entitled pricks, and far too few of them ever get punched in the sore places where they so desperately need it…

    Like

  4. Aaaargh says:

    Plus, Associated Bank pays no taxes due to hiding their income in Nevada. Do a request for their net taxes and feel the love.

    Like

  5. AIMAI says:

    my contractor told me similar stories. They all went like this: a friend would beg him to come over to help him complete project X or Y so the friend could “save money” on hiring someone to do the same work. Somehow my contractor’s sweat would be rolled into his friends “sweat equity” to produce free labor. Then he’d get there to spend his scarce free weekend helping buddy/relative/friend retile a bathroom or put up some wallboard and then the friend would pull out a new plasma tv and say “look what I’ve got!” Somehow it was ok to poormouth yourself into free labor from guy X, so you could actually spend your real money on luxuries for yourself.
    aimai

    Like

  6. MapleStreet says:

    There are two comments I have:
    1) As stated above, there are always the responsible to clean up for the irresponsible. After all, this whole mess was a bunch of folks that figured they could fly high as long as they got the responsible folks to put their retirement money in a nice account. The folks that did this responsible saving are now loosing big amounts while the fat cats continue to fly high
    2) ON the corporate parties for top performers. As the picking of top performers for the past few years has been for the folks writting the biggest accounts, it follows that these are likely the folks that have been pushing the subprime mortgages and credit default swaps. In short, we’re rewarding the ones that worked hardest to get us in this mess

    Like

  7. MapleStreet says:

    Oh, and looking at the previous article on A-Rod and 1/4 billion salaries. Again, we reward the ones that do the worst to us.

    Like

  8. Naw, Jude. Punch the sucker in the mouth. Knock out a few teeth while you’re at it. Make him understand that HE has to pay for this over time.

    Like

  9. pansypoo says:

    MBAs. sick in the head. THEEY WILL NOT GET IT WITHOUT GETTING PUNCH IN THE TATOO! take away their money NOW!

    Like

  10. Rufus says:

    Forget punching in the arm, go for the gonads.

    Like

Comments are closed.

%d bloggers like this: