Quitting Time Booster Shot

Gather round folks, it’s the QTBS, ’80s theme week edition (don’t know how this happened, but I apologize in advance…)

– I know it’s not funny, but every time I seethis companyin the news I think of this. It’s the product of too much MTV as a kid in the ‘80s.

– Speaking of which, thank God I only listen to shitty ‘80s music.

– The people who wrotethis study need to spend a Saturday in Wal-Mart watching parents interact with kids. I think they’d reverse their position really quickly. In the interest of full disclosure, I was a kid who got spanked by my parents on occasion. The few times they had to resort to this measure, they would take me to a private place (usually a bathroom) and do the deed. My attitude was quickly readjusted, but until the time I was 12, every time my folks asked if I needed to go to the bathroom, I had a twitch and a “Why? What did I do?” response at the ready. My kid is still in the formative stage, but my wife and I have talked about this a bit (we’re believers in the “count to three” thing, but if you get to three, you’d better be ready to deliver on the threat).

Question of the day: What are your thoughts on the spanking thing?

– It’s not bad enough that some celebs are arrogant enough to believe we need to know about what they’re doing every second of the day via Twitter, but now we’re told that most of them aren’t actually doing the Twittering themselves. I guess this is what I’ll be training kids for in the future: “Hey, if you can pass advanced reporting and graduate, maybe you can get a job Tweeting for 50 Cent!”

– Who says a snappy headline can’t attract a casual reader?

Yet another instance of the people who should be defending the law defending their own interests instead. Hey, Barney Fife and friends, theft is theft. If you don’t like it when people write something negative about you, don’t break the law. It’s not like they picked on you for illegally parking your squad. You were arrested on suspicion of DRUG TRAFFICKING. Embrace the horror of your own stupidity, or at least allow others to read about. What makes this even dumber is that the paper still has a WEBSITE, which is likely getting tons more traffic now that people are reporting on your theft of their newspapers.

– Finally, I find myself in anxious anticipationof this.Jay McInerney is one of my favorite authors and part of a great ‘80s nihilism movement. As the 1990s and beyond crept in, some of his stuff wandered but at least he didn’t goBretEastonEllis on us. If you ever want to read a great book, pick up almost anything Jay’s written. Model Behavior is still one of my favorites.

Thanks for letting me share your air. Be back next week.


2 thoughts on “Quitting Time Booster Shot

  1. Doc, Met Jay McInerney at the University of North Dakota during a writer’s conference. My copy of Bright Lights, Big City is autographed to me. He flirted with me when he signed. I still swoon thinking of it.

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