I used to have this great therapist. She asked me to name the core beliefs, principles, feelings that I was totally, without a doubt, completely committed to, that meant the most to me, that I was certain of. As sessions went on, she would, fairly frequently, point out when my words, thoughts or actions seemed to be at odds with my commitment to those things. Indeed, some of these things, it turned out, I routinely equivocated about, betrayed, doubted. My point, and I do have one, should be fairly obvious: sooner or later, it doesn’t really matter what you say, it’s what you do, how you are in the world, that shows your true commitment.
And the truth will always come out. It will be especially obvious to those who have a stake in what you say you care about. For example, oh, let’s just say, you tell me you are a “fierce advocate” for GLBT civil rights, a subject that does in fact mean a great deal to me as well. If you are bullshitting me, sooner or later, I’m going to know it.
For civil service employees, domestic partners of federal employees can be added to the long-term care insurance program; supervisors can also be required to allow employees to use their sick leave to take care of domestic partners and non-biological, non-adopted children. For foreign service employees, a number of benefits were identified, including the use of medical facilities at posts abroad, medical evacuation from posts abroad, and inclusion in family size for housing allocations.
Well, it’s not nothing, but it’s not enough, Mr. President.
Not enough to keep me, us, someone, from losing custody of a son we’ve raised and supported since our partner conceived him. Not enough to keep us tens of thousands of non-federal employees from losing a job we’ve worked at for 20 years because of our gender identity is objectionable to the conservatives on the board of directors. Not enough that if something happens to us, our non-resident partner will be deported, even though we live in one of the states that let us get “legally” married. Not enough for us not to worry about whether there’s going to be enough money to cover the legal bills we have to pay to get a little bit of the security straight couples get for nothing.
But administration officials said the timing of the announcement was intended to help contain the growing furor among gay rights groups. Several gay donors withdrew their sponsorship of the Democratic National Committee fund-raising event next week, where Vice President Joseph R. Biden Jr.is scheduled to speak.
And so, after all, we still DO have our inalienable privilege of being part of the greatGay ATM, to give you and the DNC our time and money and watch you spend it on staying in office.
Change costs, Mr. President, and so does not having the courage to change.