New and Exciting Advances in Medical Technology

This seems to be working for you, Mr. Friedman

This is just amazing. Apparently, we can now transplant working brains into people who desperately need them. I’m surprised this sort of thing isn’t making headlines.

But Jude, you may ask, how do you know that doctors have successfully transplanted a brain if that story hasn’t been reported anywhere?

And I’d tell you that’s a good question. To answer it, I’m going to have to deploy my amazing inferential skills. Follow with me.

  1. Thomas Friedman went on leave from the NY Times op-ed page.
  2. When he left, he was barking mad and totally incoherent
  3. He returned with a column today
  4. It made sense.
  5. *blink*
  6. *blink*
  7. Ergo, I can only conclude that Mr. Friedman had a brain transplant while he was on leave.

Pretty fancy bit of intellectual footwork, no?

Honestly, when I looked at the Times today, and saw thatFriedman was back, I groaned a little. I was expecting something about “sucking on that” or a flat earth, or an insightful anecdote from an apocryphal cabbie in Bangalore. But no.He made sense. What the hell is going on in the world?

I’m really hoping that there’s an intrepid team of doctors and nurses somewhere relaxing after removing Mr. Friedman’s old brain and replacing it with a new, functioning one.

Because if shit is fucked up enough for Thomas Friedman to recognize it with his old brain, we are in for one rough motherfucking ride.

9 thoughts on “New and Exciting Advances in Medical Technology

  1. So what poor bastard got stuck with Friedman’s old gray matter? Or is someone, somewhere enjoying a king-sized loaf of head cheese?

  2. it’s like when fat freddie’s cat brought him the wish-granting amulet:
    “well i’ll be dipped in dogshit!”

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