Oh KILL ME NOW

As if there isn’t enough insane bullshit happening.

Join your Washington Nationals from 4:30 to 7:00 p.m. for a unique
pregame happy hour followed by on-field action. Nationals Ladies
Nights, presented by Hard Times Cafe, feature Nationals players,
complimentary massages, manicures, product samples, demonstrations, and
food and beverages! Exclusive shopping opportunities: jewelry,
handbags, cosmetics and more.

But will there be re-runs of Sex and the City? That’s what would lure me to a baseball game.

Seriously, I don’t even like it when they serve food that isn’t a hot dog or a bratwurst at a game, much less give people freaking manicures. This is what happens when you tear down all the stinking, sticky shithole stadiums and build these new shiny ballparks. People start thinking they can get away with shit like this.

A.

10 thoughts on “Oh KILL ME NOW

  1. whet moser says:

    I’m a bit sympathetic. They’re the Nationals… so they don’t get a pass for dumb attendance stunts, but maybe some pity. I’ll hold them to a higher standard once Strasburg gets called up.
    Honestly, baseball’s never really replaced Bill Veeck.

  2. spocko says:

    What about pedicures? Now that would be a great deal.
    I miss free bat day.
    SF Giants to play the hated LA Dodgers.
    Bats will be given out to the first 1000 families.
    Dodger fans who wear Dodger Blue get 1/2 off.
    Alcohol 2-1 up till the fifth inning.
    Fun for the whole family.
    Shipping and receiving professionals especially welcome!

  3. donna says:

    I only got o ball games as the invited guest of friends with season tickets, who get to go to the fancy restaurants inside for dinner…

  4. MapleStreet says:

    I’m not a big sports fan, and even I miss the old days.
    Back then, a kid could collect the deposit on pop bottles and get the chance to see their hero play.
    Today, multimillion dollar payments to have corporate boxes in the top tiers of the stadium (I was at a convention and invited to attend an event in one. Funny thing was that the people watching the game were doing so at the TV on the wall. HUH!?!?!?!?!?!?!)

  5. Ah, this is why I love minor league ball. You can take a family of four to a Durham Bulls game, buy food, a couple of beers, maybe even see some fireworks, all in a great seat watching terrific ball for 50 bucks.That’s 50 bucks for four people. No scrimping.
    It’s the best bargain in town.

  6. Interrobang says:

    I live two blocks from the world’s oldest continually-used baseball park (no shit). The stuff they play there is minor league, but it’s usually damn good baseball, and it’s a hell of a lot nicer experience than going to Corporate Logo Park and watching whichever pro team. Also, the park is old and funky and has local teenagers and grandmas working the concession booths, so it’s a bit like taking a time machine back to 1940 or so.
    If you want to come and visit and catch a baseball game (next season), I’m cool with that. 🙂

  7. pansypoo says:

    i think it’s called an upgrade.

  8. Swoosh says:

    No manicures yet at Fenway.

  9. Swoosh says:

    Sadly, no $5 bleacher seats anymore at Fenway, either.

  10. Ladies Night!
    Free scrunchies for the first 5000!
    Audio explanations of every play for women and other learning disabled fans!
    Seventh inning kvetch!
    Players with cute butts featured on the Jumbotron!

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