Quitting Time Booster Shot

FairtaleFAIL

Welcome back to the Booster Shot, where things aren’t always
pretty and fairytales sometimes go horribly wrong…

– The Midget had an awesome birthday part, which led to the
adults drinking too much after the kids left or went to bed. Thus, when we were
putting together her paper doll collection, a small item that was supposed to
apparently attach to Cinderella’s neck as birds dropping ribbons on her was
popped out. It looked more like a strap on than anything, complete with bulbous
pink head. It also didn’t fit on her shoulders, but right around the waist. Add
a drunken Barbie and, hey…Disney’s not the only one who can mix porn and kids’
stuff.

– From the “Some things are so funny, they speak for
themselves
” department: A Texas Web site is brokering the old clothing that
anchors and other TV personalities can’t wear anymore.

Joliet Township High School is thinking of naming the
journalism room in honor of the late Bob Novak
. Could they name the men’s room
after him instead?

– From the “Get OVER it already” department: FOX is now
concerned that the NBC store is selling more Obama items than McCain/Palin
items and that this indicates a liberal bias. First, who the hell bothers to
COUNT the number of items this overpriced tourist shithole? Second, of course
they’re still selling Obama stuff. He’s the PRESIDENT. I didn’t see a whole lot
of Michael Dukakis stuff at anywhere but discount swap meets after about December
of 1988. Third, if you really want to have a big seller, how about a Sarah
Palin condom or a John McCain urinal biscuit? Those might work.


– From the “Get OVER it already” Part II department:
Apparently, the first lady is showing too much skin. First it was the arms, now
the legs. Look, unless she goes all “Showgirls” on us in the middle of a dinner
with some foreign diplomat or wears a “Shit Happens” thong while on the 2012
campaign trail, can everyone just shut up?

– Repeat this out loud:Jayson Blair, Life Coach. Say
it a few times. Then, feel free to either laugh hysterically or light your hair
on fire…

But wait! If you call right now, you’ll get more copies of
the same shit you shouldn’t give a fuck about! That’s right, we’re going to
screw you by DOUBLING YOUR ORDER!

– And finally, if you missed it last night, you really
missed something great. The Rifftrax guys (formerly Crow, Servo and Mike from
MST3K)did a live riffing of Ed Wood’s “Plan 9 from Outer Space” that was
simulcast to theaters all around the country. Between that, Jonathan Coulton warming
up the crowd with “Re: Your Brains,” and the short “Flying Stewardess” (SHE
DOESN”T NEED A PLANE!), you were better off not buying a soda, as you’d have
peed yourself laughing so hard. This was by far the best experience in recent
memory. I can only hope they’ll do it again. Well, that and figure out a way to
mass market the old MST3K stuff…

Thanks for letting me share your air. Be back next week.

Doc

One thought on “Quitting Time Booster Shot

  1. pansypoo says:

    why didn’t anybody say about the mystie show?

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