Some Genius Shit

Like this, but with less falling off of cliffs.

Oh yeah. You motherfuckers wanna hear some genius shit?

I got it right here.

I have solved the health care problem.

That’s right. Me. I was waking up one morning, and, as Al Swearengen might say, “it come to me in a vision.”

This happened before the Congressional recess. I wish I could have had a direct line to the President right then, because this shit would be over by now.

To fix health care in this country, and to make sure that our system is the envy of the industrialized world, here’s what needs to happen.

First, Obama should sign an executive order suspending the health insurance of all members of Congress. Included in the order should be the provision that none of the members can accept “donations” of health care services from anyone or any entity.

Then, all of the Representatives and Senators would have to go and find health coverage for themselves. Some of them would qualify for Medicare, which would be good, since they would see the value of that program. All of the others would have to go out and try to secure private insurance. Of course, there are a few, like Herb Kohl (who, to be fair, has consistently been on the proper side regarding health care), who are wealthy enough to pay out-of-pocket for whatever they need. But most of them (despite their generous salaries and other resources) would definitely feel a pinch when they needed to see a doctor.

Finally, it should be a further condition of the executive order that whatever system the members came up with to restore care to themselves should be the same thing that is offered to everyone in the country.

You’d see serious, meaningful health care reform passed pretty quick. Pretty goddamn quick. You think that Kent Conrad or Gene Taylor wouldn’t get their heads straight after fucking around with a few automated phone menus, or trying to make sense of the myriad of bewildering goddamn forms to fill out, or getting denied coverage for pre-existing conditions? Shit, even the Republicans would see how fucked that is.

Here’s the beauty of the whole idea: When you expose the decision makers to the same conditions that the majority of people have to face, they suddenly become receptive to the needs of those people.

It’s like the story of the Dutch. That is, everyone lives in the polders. When the privileged share the fates of the unprivileged, well, then you don’t need high-minded John Donne-type philosophy to convince them that we’re all in this together. Simple, narrow-minded self-interest does the trick.

See? Now why am I not the Secretary of Health and Human Services?

Oh, right. All the swearing.


13 thoughts on “Some Genius Shit

  1. Fantastic idea and you would be a fantastic Sec of HHS… And I think it’s high time folks understood the health of a well-placed Eff Bomb and Rant.

  2. To really make this work, you’d want to abolish congressional parking and members’ elevators for the duration. So they could see how screwed you are even if all you have is a busted ankle or a bum knee.

  3. I think your idea is right on (and wait till Congress finds out that pre-existing conditions aren’t covered.)
    But even more, thanks to the link for social analysis. Only he could strengthen his point a tad by pointing out that the Norse he was talking about were probably Vikings (or their remnants as the Vikings moved from a more socialist existance where everyone on the ship shared to a more “stable” (or un-stable) system where they permanently stayed in an area so you could develop class stratification – and the corporate honchos these days are also somewhat loot and pillage.

  4. Bravo, Jude. I finally had to succumb to the urge to do a health care reform rant myself the other day, but I seem to beoddly lacking in F-bombs. It’s not like me, really. Must be this whole job-search thing. Anyway, thanks for making up for me there.

  5. KISS means keep it simple stupid. Don’t reinvent the wheel.
    Let’s just hire the Swiss to run the banking and stock market for a high percentage of the graft and corruption they stop. Bonus for convictions of bank officials and regulators.
    Then let’s hire the French to run the medical services on a high percentage of the graft and fraud they find. Bonus for increasing the life expectancy and for the training in simple procedures to keep medical persons from continuing to use non sterile techniques.
    These people know what they are doing, the us has not a clue.

  6. I approve of the F-bombs.. but why do you think healthcare is a bloated mess? It’s got the dead hand of government all over it..
    “during this time of almost complete governmental domination of the hospital industry (1944–1989), costs per patient-day rose almost 24-fold”

  7. Well, Gene Taylor used to be my Representative. Also, he personally did a good turn for my family–after a shitload of calls and letters. But I’m not afraid to call him a dick for opposing good turns for tens of millions of people.

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