Like this, but with less falling off of cliffs.
Oh yeah. You motherfuckers wanna hear some genius shit?
I got it right here.
I have solved the health care problem.
That’s right. Me. I was waking up one morning, and, as Al Swearengen might say, “it come to me in a vision.”
This happened before the Congressional recess. I wish I could have had a direct line to the President right then, because this shit would be over by now.
To fix health care in this country, and to make sure that our system is the envy of the industrialized world, here’s what needs to happen.
First, Obama should sign an executive order suspending the health insurance of all members of Congress. Included in the order should be the provision that none of the members can accept “donations” of health care services from anyone or any entity.
Then, all of the Representatives and Senators would have to go and find health coverage for themselves. Some of them would qualify for Medicare, which would be good, since they would see the value of that program. All of the others would have to go out and try to secure private insurance. Of course, there are a few, like Herb Kohl (who, to be fair, has consistently been on the proper side regarding health care), who are wealthy enough to pay out-of-pocket for whatever they need. But most of them (despite their generous salaries and other resources) would definitely feel a pinch when they needed to see a doctor.
Finally, it should be a further condition of the executive order that whatever system the members came up with to restore care to themselves should be the same thing that is offered to everyone in the country.
You’d see serious, meaningful health care reform passed pretty quick. Pretty goddamn quick. You think that Kent Conrad or Gene Taylor wouldn’t get their heads straight after fucking around with a few automated phone menus, or trying to make sense of the myriad of bewildering goddamn forms to fill out, or getting denied coverage for pre-existing conditions? Shit, even the Republicans would see how fucked that is.
Here’s the beauty of the whole idea: When you expose the decision makers to the same conditions that the majority of people have to face, they suddenly become receptive to the needs of those people.
It’s like the story of the Dutch. That is, everyone lives in the polders. When the privileged share the fates of the unprivileged, well, then you don’t need high-minded John Donne-type philosophy to convince them that we’re all in this together. Simple, narrow-minded self-interest does the trick.
See? Now why am I not the Secretary of Health and Human Services?
Oh, right. All the swearing.