Well, It’s All Okay Now, Joe Klein

Joke Line apologizes for being a mealy-mouthed prick, buthey, he didn’t really mean it, anyway:

It is appropriate that Obama’s speech to the DAV will not be remembered
as vividly as George W. Bush’s puerile march across the deck of an
aircraft carrier, costumed as a combat aviator against a golden sunset,
to announce — seven years and tens of thousands of lives prematurely —
the “end of combat operations.” Obama’s announcement was no
celebration. It was a somber acknowledgment that amends will be made to
those whose lives were shattered and that their courageous service in
an unnecessary cause will be honored. A national discussion about
America’s place in the world, and the military’s excessive place in our
foreign policy, would also be appropriate in the wake of this disaster,
but I’m not holding my breath.

As for myself, I deeply regret that once, on television in the days
before the war, I foolishly — spontaneously — said that going ahead
with the invasion might be the right thing to do. I was far more
skeptical in print. I never wrote in favor of the war and repeatedly
raised the problems that would accompany it, but mere skepticism was an
insufficient reaction too. The issue then was as clear as it is now. It
demanded a clarity that I failed to summon. The essential principle is
immutable: we should never go to war unless we have been attacked or
are under direct, immediate threat of attack. Never. And never again.

Well, Joke, it didn’t really demand clarity. It demanded that you sit at the table with the pot-smoking hippies and listen to them play their digeridoos or whatever and smell their patchouli while the cool kids were over at the other table fucking Dean Wormer’s wife and giving everybody wedgies. That’s all this was about and that’s all this will ever be about so long as our national pundit class is composed entirely of fucking sheltered children who have no idea how anything functions outside their gated mental communities.

If the war had been a glorious success? If in the wake of our freedom bombs people had decided they loved us more than they loved their dead children and built statues of George W. Bush in every public square and Iraq made Orange County look like a ghetto? Then Joke would be apologizing for being insufficiently supportive, having only once weakly approved of going to war, and being even more skeptical in print about what in retrospect was so perfectly obvious. Then he’d be talking about the moral clarity demanded of us in order to kick those hippies right in the face, because this isn’t for one second about being right or wrong.

This is Joke apologizing for having been, marginally, kind of, sort of, spontaneously, and only on TV, on the losing side.

Via Balloon Juice’s comments.


6 thoughts on “Well, It’s All Okay Now, Joe Klein

  1. The test for this course is to write an essay about what the next moves in Iraq and Afghanistan must be. Any essay that doesn’t start with “get the Hell out of both places, now” gets an automatic F grade. My money says the joke fails.

  2. its not really much of an apology, is it? And he’s still insisting that it was only that one time, on TV, when (apparently) he was ambushed by having to have thought about the biggest moral question of the day. Look, the war in Iraq happened fast but it didn’t happen overnight. In fact, there were lots and lots and lots of days, and nights, and TV appearances that weren’t given to everyone–and that weren’t given to DFH’s–they were given to Joe Klein and people like Klein, who were willing to be useful, agressive, stoodges for Bush’s plans. Klein got used like a Kleinex, and now…what? Days after the murder, standing in the blood of the victims, he’d like a “do over?” Everyone gets a chance to be a hero at some point or another in their lives. Klein didn’t even have to risk his life to be a hero. All he had to do was open his fucking mouth, once, on TV and say what every sane person in this country new: Iraq didn’t bomb us on 9/11, the war was a fake, and millions of people would die as a result of our willingness to bomb a helpless civilian population. If he never appeared again on TV he still would have spoken truth, for once in his miserable life. And he didn’t have the nerve. Fuck him. Fuck him with the shinbones of dead Iraqi children.

  3. I have little doubt that if the Israelis decide to ignore all common sense and attack Iran, Joke Line will be one of the first to grudgingly admit that we have to follow behind them and do the same, because they’re “our trusted ally.”
    Klein wouldn’t be riding Clare Booth Luce’s hobby horse unless he toed the foreign policy elite’s line…

  4. How come all the DFHs saw that Iraq and Afghanistan are both regions that have swallowed up invading army after invading army but the WH didn’t?
    How come we entered without even knowing the least smidgen about their culture?

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