More on the Power and the Glory of the Mighty Tribune

Boy, having a mean NYT story written about your CEO acting like a horny 14-year-oldso totally makes storming the beaches of Normandy look easy:

In the 163-year history of the Chicago Tribune, no group has confronted more disruption and more uncertainty than you. No group has demonstrated more innovative spirit and driven more transformative change than this one. No one has worked harder to keep journalism alive despite the economic assaults upon it. It is easy to profess your convictions when things are going well. It is quite another to hold onto those convictions and to push ahead when times are difficult.

Faced with the most crucial moment of our careers and the most perilous moment in the Chicago Tribune s history, we did not retreat. Instead, we stood and fought to create a brighter future for the Chicago Tribune. That is real courage.

Wow. I had no idea. I feel really bad now, for the mocking. I should have more respect for those who did not retreat and who, in stupendous acts of courage, kept showing up for work in the morning. I mean, I get how much this stuff sucks, but some ofyour colleagues in Mexico are getting shot at, so maybe tone down the drama somewhat, kiddo. And how exactly is “being run into the ground by assholes while your management fucks in the stairwell” transformative change?

From earlier in this masterpiece of self-importance:

As many of you know, I read history. My advisors sit on a bookshelf behind my desk. I invite you to come by my office sometime and chat about some of these books and the stories they tell.

God Almighty. Come by and chat about this guy’s library? Really? That’s his prescription for people who are, in all seriousness, still showing up there every day trying to do a job? Talk about his reading of history? How about we talk about the balance sheet, the layoffs of friends and colleagues, and oh yeah, COVERING SOME FUCKING NEWS. How about we do all of that and then we can share a brandy and discuss the writings of Cicero.

The whole thing hurts my brain.


5 thoughts on “More on the Power and the Glory of the Mighty Tribune

  1. I hate the new management style that makes everything the final battle for mankind’s souls.
    If my folks say “bold new initiative” one more time, I’m gonna make Linda Blair’s vomiting look sedate.

  2. Together we have worked diligently to establish a newsroom that is built on mutual respect, individual responsibility, openness, collegiality and Hot Racks. We’ve done this during a time of trial for our company, our industry and our nation. Especially our company, which has been run like a yacht club above decks and a frat house below it.
    As many of you know, I read history. My advisors sit on a bookshelf behind my desk. As with all great advisors, they never advise me that I, personally, am ever wrong about anything. I invite you to come by my office sometime and let me bore you with all my idiot explanations of how the ghost of Virgil personally endorses everything I do here. For me, the greatest revelations are the ones that emerge out of extended sessions of navel gazing. That is the place where history is made. My ability to exalt what is otherwise known as work, the stuff that lots of people do every day, and to treat my engaging in it as heroic and even superhuman, is what allows me to continue to nurse this messianic complex.
    etc. etc.

  3. As many of you know, I read history.
    That’s the douchiest sentence I’ve read all week. And I discovered “” this week.

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