Hey there, gang.

Still stupidly busy at work, so I haven’t had a lot of time for posting. And, honestly, this shit is wearying. It’s not even much fun mocking the dumb shit that the right-wingers say, because 1) it’s predictable and 2) reading that shit costs me IQ points (insert your own joke about how I can ill-afford that).

So I haven’t had a lot to say or much time to say what I want.

However.

I was just chilling out, reading the NY Times–nothing political! I was checking out the “Dining & Wine” section (it’s usually full of bougie shit, but you can occasionally find good stuff there). And there’s anarticle about Microplane graters. If you like cooking, you’ve probably got one of those things. I was always amused by how much they resemble rasps, and it turns out that’s not accidental.

Anyway, I’m reading this article, and, in the third fucking paragraph, I see something that makes me want to throw my computer out the fucking window.

“I didn’t set out to make cheese graters,” Mr. Grace, an engineer by education, said recently. In 1977, he moved south from Michigan to this town 75 miles northwest of Little Rock in search of a warmer climate and more favorable small-business taxes.

Read that again. Go on, I’ll wait.

Notice something there? I did.

First, who gives a fuck why he moved to Arkansas? Hell, maybe he wanted to ride a tick to work every day. Maybe he had relatives there. It just doesn’t fucking matter in an article in the Dining and Fucking Wine section of the paper. Second, WHAT THE FUCK. Consider the following alternative sentence:

“[H]e moved south from Michigan to this town 75 miles northwest of Little Rock in search of a warmer climate and in search of workers who are, with the help of a pig-ignorant and ‘right-to-work’ fetishizing government, much easier to fuck over than unionized workers in Michigan.”

Yeah, you’re right. It’s not the International Socialist Weekly. Try this:

“[H]e moved south from Michigan to this town 75 miles northwest of Little Rock in search of a warmer climate and a more easily-exploited workforce.”

Still too incendiary? Why not this:

“[H]e moved south from Michigan to this town 75 miles northwest of Little Rock in search of a warmer climate and a more anti-worker and anti-union business climate.”

Still too negative? How about:

“[H]e moved south from Michigan to this town 75 miles northwest of Little Rock in search of a warmer climate and an environment less friendly to workers and environmental protection.”

I could go on, but I’ll spare you. In the next paragraph, they casually drop that he’s also got a factory in Mexico, so it’s pretty clear that this Galtian hero is just looking for a lower wage floor wherever he can get it. And you know, I understand. Given corporate law, owners have to do everything possible to maximize profits and cut outlays, and, as capital is far more mobile than labor, that (as we all fucking know by now) means ditching any uppity workers who are concerned with things like “standards of living,” or areas that say things like “you need to pay into the public treasury to help, among other things, cover for all the goddamn externalities that we have to deal with.”

But, again, this is in the Fucking Dining and Fucking Wine section of the paper. I guess that makes sense, because it made me want to start drinking right the fuck away. You can’t even read about a fucking cheese grater without “pro-business” fluffing going on. I know it’s minor, and kind of a throwaway line, but, again–it’s told completely from the perspective of the capitalist, and, perhaps more importantly, it’s totally fucking superfluous to the article. It’s bullshit that unnecessarily advances a pro-capital, anti-labor point of view.

I will leave it to the reader to find out a bit more about John T. Edge, the article’s author. Hint: When you find out where he works, you probably won’t be surprised at his slant.

*Sue me. I liked watching Bullwinkle reruns when I was a kid.