Herman Cain meets John Lennon

Herman Cain is one of the zaniest semi-major Presidential candidates ever. He’s a laugh a minute jokester: didja hear the one about the ‘lectrical fence that’ll fry Meskins? It was a sidebuster I tell ya. My innards are still burnin’ from laughin’ my ass off…

Cain’s latest weirdo moment is an oldie but goodie. I learned today via Dave Weigel that Herman is a poet and he knows it. Well, maybe not a poet but he’s a parody lyricist, ladies and gentleman, I give you the Lennon-Cain composition, Imagine There’s No Pizza.Cain’s intro appears at 2:01 and he belts out his ode to peace-n-pizza at the 3:50 mark. Imagine that:


I have a confession: I have no idea if Cain himself wrote these ridiculous lyrics but it was funnier to imagine that he had done so. I have yet another confession:Imagine is perhaps my least favorite John Lennon numbah so I kinda enjoy seeing its bubble popped by Cain who sounds a bit like a low rent Billy Ecsktine.

I’d like to thankDave Weigel for digging up this wacky nugget as well as posting the lyrics, which were probably written by one of Cain’s flacks or one of the Keebler Elves:

Imagine there’s no pizza
I couldn’t if I tried
Eating only tacos
Or Kentucky Fried
Imagine only burgers
It’s frightening and sad

You’re lucky you have pizza
To feed for kids for you
Only frosting or cookies
And no dishes you must do
Imagine eating pizza
Each and every day

You may say that it’s junk food
But to me it’s so much more
It gives my life its meaning
And it makes a lot of dough

Imagine mozzarella
Anchovies on the side
And maybe, pepperoni
Rounds out your pizza pie
Imagine getting pizza
Delivered to your door

You don’t have to give up now
On my skateboard I will go
I’ll be back in 30 minutes
I just bought Dominoes

All I am saying
Is give pizza a chance
All I am saying
Give pizza a chance
All I am saying
Is give pizza a chance
All I am saying
You’ve got to, got to give pizza a chance

3 thoughts on “Herman Cain meets John Lennon

  1. Well, that’s enough to make you lose your lunch. Or want to gouge your eyes out with your fingers (Donald Trump would use a fork).

  2. *) I love Godfathers’ Pizza.
    *) News media reports today that Cain and Romney are in a statistical dead heat. But have they figured out that 60% of the repub votes are for someone else. The trick is where these voters will go as their candidate drops out. And could the 4 years of racist slurs directed at Obama influence Cain’s chances?
    *) Wasn’t it counterproductive for Cain to criticize the take back Wall St. folk?
    *) And if the protestors want more limits on Wall St, which inevitably means laws and regulations (and I still don’t understand why we bailed out the finance industry under the idea that they were holding a gun to our head proclaiming “too big to fail” and yet still have’t done anything to prevent the same problems from continuing to happen), and the Wall St. CEOs want regs removed, how is it that the protestors are the Anarchists?

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