Hey, You Suck!

And now it’s Santorumentum, or something:

Though the news of Santorum’s apparent surge is sure to stun casual observers of Iowa, Santorum himself has been predicting his moment will come for months. He all but moved to Iowaover the summer and set about visiting every one of the state’s 99 counties. As recounted at one stophere, Santorum tread lightly on the trail, declining to correct a voter who called Obama a “Muslim Communist” to Santorum’s face.

See, this is why months of speculation are total crap. Plus this GOP field is full of nutsacks, and every time the voters get a closer look at any one particular nutsack, they decide a random one of the others might be better. Everybody got a good look at Bachmann and shuddered. Everybody spent about half an hour with Perry and decided they’d rather elect a ham sandwich. All Gingrich has been able to do is remind us that the 90s were really, really fucking stupid, and Ron Paul is the kind of bigot even other bigots don’t want to have over for tea.

Which leaves Romney, whose turn it is, and who might have been electable given this absolute shitfest of an economy, but for that he’s got to run in a Republican primary, and so has to amputate everything that made him remotely palatable and then cauterize the wounds. For which I supposed we should be grateful, Democrats. If Romney didn’t have to out-crazy the political E Ward, we might have to worry about Obama’s re-election chances.


12 thoughts on “Hey, You Suck!

  1. Ha, yes. Romney, as fucking whack as he is, is too sane for the current GOP. Which is a sad, sad commentary.

  2. Commercials on local TV covering SE Iowa for Gingrich have him saying the “liberal republican party” is spending bukoos of money to keep him out.

  3. Other than turning the crazy up to eleven, isn’t this pretty much a replay of what they gave their voters in 2008? Huckabee, Guiliani, Fred Thompson…

  4. I can’t take credit for it, but I can’t remember who said it.. its not a ‘Santorum Surge’ as much as its a ‘Rick Roll’.
    You’re welcome.

  5. That’s why I’m not really down with the “cheer for the looniest Republican” sense of barely contained glee among D’s. If the looniest R gets the nod it makes the D move to the right; does that make the country better off?

  6. President Obama’s re-election is far from a lock. Yes, the GOP clusterfucktastrophy is an enormous help. But I’m concerned that, without some bold legislating, most people in America are going to be too concerned about their day to day existence to get out and rally the country like they did in 2008. Bold legislation is rare during an election year. And hope and change is old and moldy.
    It’s going to be a lot closer, I’m afraid, than any marginally sane nation will be comfortable with.

  7. And remember, “close” means there is plenty of opportunity to take things to friendly courts. That’s not going to help at all.

  8. @left rev., ferret envy – Bold legislation? From this Congress? They couldn’t bake a potato if you spotted them the potato and an oven.

  9. @joejoejoe BWAAHAAHAA! So true.
    I’m more concerned about down ticket races, myself. Momentum against GOP presidential candidates doesn’t always translate into momentum against down ticket GOP candidates. Gotta keep tarring them all with that crazy brush.

  10. Not to mention, that for Obama, quoting from memory, 60% got portrayed as a marginally close election. For GWB, 50.00000001 % (and even that number was questionable due to hanging chads, lack of recounts, etc.) was a huge excess of political capital.

  11. Obama is the sane Republican in the race. He’s the one who works for Wall St. billionaires, and that’s why he’s getting re-elected.

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