Hacked Off Vatican

The Italian branch of Anonymous has put the Vatican web site in limbo or is that purgatory? In short, they’ve gone didatic on the papal ass. What that means beats the hell outta me but it sounds good:

In a statement on its Italian-language website, the collective accused the Catholic Church of being responsible for a long list of misdeeds throughout history, including the selling of indulgences in the 16th century and burning heretics during the Inquisition.

“Anonymous decided today to besiege your site in response to the doctrine, to the liturgies, to the absurd and anachronistic concepts that your for-profit organisation spreads around the world. This attack is not against the Christian religion or the faithful around the world but against the corrupt Roman Apostolic Church.”

It also accused the Vatican of being “retrograde” in its interfering in Italian domestic affairs.

True dat. The Vatican was quite fond of Silvio Berlusconi until he insisted on walking about with his dick hanging out. Silvio shoulda zipped up both his pants and his mouth.

Speaking of Silvio’s enablers, it remains astonishing to me that men who are supposedly celibate make the sexytime rules for their flock. Most Catholics ignore them unlike a certain Presidential candidate who wears sweater vests and talks about man-dog sex. (Do you think any sweater vest clad men have had sex with a dog similarly attired? I certainly hope not.) Anyway, I don’t know about you but I rarely listen to men in dresses except on Mardi Gras when I have no choice. It’s the price I pay for living in New Orleans…

You know what else hacks me off about the Vatican? The fact that real life Popes are as not as entertaining as Tony Quinn inShoes Of The Fishermanor Rex Harrison inThe Agony And The Ecstasy. Rex was so awesome in that film that he made one *almost* forget the huge piece of wood that he played his scenes with. Hmm, can ham be wooden? If so, Charlton Heston is either the hammiest piece of wood or the woodiest piece of ham ever. Take your pick.

Rex pope

Some day I’ll have to tell y’all about my fleeting encounter with Quinn in a bar in the Plaka in Athens longer ago than I care to admit. End of teaser. Here’s Pope Zorba:

Quinn Pope

4 thoughts on “Hacked Off Vatican

  1. mass says:

    All these horseshit attacks on women’s healthcare, er, religious freedom come for the most un-democratic segments of society, religious institutions.
    Particularly the goddam Roman Catholic Church, where women hold absolutely no position of power or input when it comes to dogma — the fucking rules the men and women of the MUST follow to stay in the good graces of the church.
    No, only a bunch of old, supposedly celibate men make the rules about everything from silly-ass concerns about what you can eat on Fridays during Lent to what kinds of medications women take for their own well being.
    I went through 12 years of Catholic indoctrination. It finally struck my dumb ass that the institution was run by a bunch of creepy men, aided by subserviant women, with the sole goal of propping up the Catholicf Church for the sake of keeping the Catholic Church propped up.
    With the public discovery of mass child molestation within the Catholic Church of the past has shown, it not much more than a fucking criminal enterprise dedicated to keeping power and wealth and influence.

  2. paul scanlon says:

    Did you know that Charles Mingus wrote a tune titled “The Shoes of the Fisherman’s Wife Are Some Jive-Ass Slippers?”

  3. pansypoo says:

    you forgot borgias on showtime. sexy pope.

  4. Graciela says:

    Just a quick note to mention how great I think it is that this is iptronoraced into the website. As Youth Leader at St G’s I rarely get to hear Rev CJ’s sermons as I’m involved with our youth group. I have really enjoyed taking time out of my Monday to hear the Word. Thanks CJ Scott Currie

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